Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
It's been 5 days since I've been home because I found pain pills again. My daughter lied to me once again and I couldn't take it and just left, I've been staying with a friend. I didn't speak to her for 4 days and finally talked to her yesterday, we did get some things resolved but we still have a lot to talk about. I have decided that I am not going to make her leave the house, I just can't do it and my husband practically begged me not to, he has been talking to her and wants me to give her 1 last chance. We have decided to find a counselor who we can both see and hope that helps us.
Believe it or not that is not my problem at the moment, I don't want to go home and listen to my son's abusive tone. He is just an angry person and lashes out at me when he fights with his wife, he also wants his sister out of the house and is mad that I haven't thrown her out. Believe me he has no room to talk and is far from perfect but he doesn't seem to think he has any faults. I have asked him if we could all go to family counseling but he has refused, which doesn't surprise me, I asked him if we could try and put things in the past behind us and try and move forward but he can't do that either. He has been leaving me nasty text messages he told me that she is playing me like a f...ing puppet and how stupid I am. I am sick to my stomach right now but I have to face this and I guess today is the day. Please keep us in your prayers and wish me luck.
Believe it or not that is not my problem at the moment, I don't want to go home and listen to my son's abusive tone. He is just an angry person and lashes out at me when he fights with his wife, he also wants his sister out of the house and is mad that I haven't thrown her out. Believe me he has no room to talk and is far from perfect but he doesn't seem to think he has any faults. I have asked him if we could all go to family counseling but he has refused, which doesn't surprise me, I asked him if we could try and put things in the past behind us and try and move forward but he can't do that either. He has been leaving me nasty text messages he told me that she is playing me like a f...ing puppet and how stupid I am. I am sick to my stomach right now but I have to face this and I guess today is the day. Please keep us in your prayers and wish me luck.
I don't know your son or his personality, but I think I understand his anger. My daughter felt the same way about her addicted brother. She couldn't understand why we tolerated so much from him, she was very angry (and still is) about what he did to our family. Your son may be taking it out on you, but his anger is really about how much your daughter has hurt you and her father. I don't think they realize they only complicate the pain when they act that way.
Counseling is a good idea, and if giving your daughter one last chance is what you've decided to do, then do it. You know the rest...set your boundaries and stick to them.
Best of luck to all of you; you will be in my prayers.
Asking him to put the past behind does not make sense to him as long as he is angry and feels you are making yet another mistake. Don't ask him to do something that he can't do.
You know what? One hug, one loving look in the eye, one "thank you" works wonders sometimes. I cannot tell you how I feel when my father calls me "my sweetheart" or tells my mother "love, our daughter is on the phone" with a happy voice. I am old enough to NOT need this kind of parental affection as I do, but, honest to God, one nice word from my parents makes my day. You know why? Because I see I can give them a moment of little happiness just because I myself am doing better.
Does this help at all?
it IS a hellish path and it's so true that addiction affects the whole family. It took years for the boys to even look at each other.....
you'll be in my prayers also.