Oh Pat, this is dicey for sure. But I want you to think about this, first as mothers we know, we know from our inner most core and that is what forced you to look inside her bag. Now, You need to step back and stop the insanity. I remember when my son was in the throws of his addiction and I believed I was going to circumvent any possible drug usage. I check his phone ( thinking I would confront the dealer) I went on line into his chat room ( thinking I could be one step ahead) I search his room daily. When I look at this in hindsight ( of course) I now realize, nothing I did or could have done would have stopped it, and guess what it didn't. Your daughter is a sick girl, that needs to be surrounded by like minded people not just for 30 days, but she must embrace a program, and work it daily. She must work it, sadly Pat, yes, you need to tell her what you found and because she is in your home and from past experience, you will not accept this in your home, and especially around your grandchild. Boundaries, Pat and you must stick to them, I live by this, The meaning of insanity doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, you need to do something different Pat. As always you know we are here to support you, and I pray that your daughter makes the right choices. hugs, my friend.

Pat,
I am so sorry this has happened. This is exactly what we all fear with our children, and unfortunately it is so common. Each relapse is a renewed agony and a new heartbreak. We were taught by the counselors at my son's rehab that "relapse is part of recovery".

I agree with everything dmatt said. You could not have prevented this, and now that you found what you found, you should calmly let your daughter know about it. Yes, she will be angry that you went through her purse; so what? What's done is done. Then, set your boundaries. You simply cannot have this in your home. She needs to make a decision, and if she chooses to continue abusing drugs, she will have to leave and do it elsewhere.

I told my son, there will be zero tolerance for any drugs in my home. We were serious. At only 20 years old and never having been on his own before, we made him pack his things and leave. It broke our hearts but we knew it was the right thing to do. Now, with 8 months sobriety, he says that was a big factor in wanting to recover, he didn't want to lose his home and family forever.

Stand your ground and then stand back. Hopefully she will make the right decisions.

Hugs to you, Pat...you will be in my prayers.

To piggyback what has already been said, my advice is love. Love her. Tell her you love her. Then, discuss your boundaries and stick to them. Like little kids, they will push back and test you - she may even have a temper tantrum. You know her and what she is capable of handling and her potential. Let her know and then stand your ground.

The initial feelings are frustration, mistrust, hurt, etc. Now, it's time for showing love in a healthy manner. Maybe she will draw strength from this so she can move forward and get help. And maybe she isn't ready to draw strength from this. But, that is her choice. I'm not sure how old she is, but if she is under 18, maybe you can put her in rehab.