Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group

Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...

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patnard 12/23/2013

I'm not sure how to handle this so I am here for advice because I know I will get some help. As most of you know I lost my nephew Micheal last month due to a heroin overdose, I just got the news that my beautiful niece Autumn is also doing heroin, I am lost, I don't know how to handle this. My brother doesn't know and I don't think her mother does either, do I tell them first or should I confront my niece? My brother is an alcoholic and I am afraid of what he might due when he finds out, she lives with her boyfriend who is a looser and introduced her to heroin so I am sure my brother will want to kill him. I have been through so much pain with my own daughter's addiction to opiates that you would think I would know what to do but I am at a loss. I do know that I can not control her behavior and if I do confront her it won't make a bit of difference, but this is really making me sick to my stomach. My family really doesn't have much knowledge when it comes to drugs especially heroin so they are no help, I'm just sick about this. I'm sorry if I'm rambling I don't think I've taken this all in yet, my head is spinning. I know I will get some help from my friends here, any ideas or advice will bee greatly appreciated.

Thanks,
Pat

GMaWilli 12/23/2013

Depending on her age, I would probably confront her first & ask her if she has any desire to seek help, & if she does, maybe you can talk her into confiding in her parents. I'm sorry for your pain & suffering. I would confront my nephews if they started it and I would tell my brother, but everyone's family is different.

deehigs 12/23/2013

Pat I'm so sorry to hear this. I hate hearing another life taken hostage by that evil drug. My opinion is I would tell if I was absolutely sure that she is really using. I don't know how you found out so as long as it is a reliable source... I am sure that if anyone knew this about your daughter and you didn't know you would want to as much as no one ever wants to hear such a terrible thing about their child. I still think the right thing to do us tell them. You never know maybe them knowing and encouraging her to get help will save her life. The thing I would feel is if you don't say something and God forbid she should die you would probably feel a lot of guilt about the what ifs. What if I told would it have made a difference? That's my opinion on it but I respect whatever you choose to do. I don't envy your being in this position it's not easy either way .Dee

dmatt124 12/23/2013

Hello Pat, I'm so sorry for the pain. As a parent, if my brother or sister knew I would want them to tell me, as we all know the not knowing is what is devastating. I would also talk to her, and let her know that you did in fact talk to her parents and that you are there if she needs support. Good Luck Pat.

jainlor 12/23/2013

I am so sorry. I do think the parents have the right to know but it sounds like a difficult scenario. if you are close to her you could try confronting her and see what she has to say. hugs

cardinal39 12/23/2013

Hi pat,,, I would confront your niece,, and put it in her hands to tell her parents,, within a time limit( which is boundaries),, tell her that she has until jan 1,, if she has not told them, then you will out of moral , and respectful thing,, this gives her the oppurtunity to be held accountable and allows you to approach her parents in a non- aggressive way,,,

patnard 12/23/2013

Thank you all for your advice, I think I am going to try and talk to my niece first the only problem is she has been staying away from the family so I don't know if I will see her on Christmas. If I don't see her I think my sister's and I are going to talk with my brother, he has been divorced from his wife for many years but we still see her now and then so I might try and contact her too. I know there is no easy solution to this but whatever happens I pray to God she will get help. Thanks again everyone. I do appreciate your input.

Pat

GMaWilli 12/24/2013

Heroin addicts almost always steal, too, so the family really needs to put purses & valuables out of reach when she's around. It's one of the sad facts of this evil addiction :0(

jen50 12/24/2013

Pat, I am sorry you are faced with the fight of addiction....AGAIN!
I had to make the exact same decision a few months ago when I found out my nephew was using. It was an easy decision for me! I told my sister! My thought was that I wish someone would have told me about my son earlier in e game. I could not have lived with myself if something happened to my nephew (I.e. ODing), and I didn't do everything I could to step in. While I know we can not control our addicts, or cure our addicts....we can step in and offer them help! Ad God willing, they just might be ready at that moment to accept it.
Good luck, and I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers during this Christmas season.
Peace.....

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