Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group

Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...

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What's wrong with me

patnard
patnard
I haven't posted in awhile. things in my life have been almost normal or as normal as they will ever get . so why is it that I am miserable. My daughter is doing well with her ttreatment and is getting on with her life. We still live together and even that hasn't been so bad. I think the fact that I gave up control of her life is bothering me, WHY? I should be happy for her but I feel like I'm not needer anymore, what's wrong with me, this is what I've wanted all along. I really should be happy my family is getting along, my husband's son has fit into our family perfeclty, I have 2 new grandaughter's who I adore what the heck is wrong with me? Has this happened to anyone else or am I loosing it?
dmatt124
dmatt124
Hi pat, your not loosing it. You have spent so much of your life focused on your daughter that you never did anything to take care of you. In a lot of instances you became as much of an addict as your daughter. You became addicted to trying to get her well that it consumed your life. You can't change the past but you can change now. Start to get involved in something for you, maybe it's crafting, or walking, join a book club, go to a museum, whatever but make sure it's for you. Your a good mom Pat, and try to enjoy all the good that has happened or it's all in vain. Stay strong, and each day do something that makes you smile.
LoriFla
LoriFla
Pat I think Dmatt said it perfectly. As I said in my pm, I have been there and understand. Enjoy all the good in your life now, and take care of you. Hugs!
katrinka
katrinka
I agree with dmatt. We get so engrossed in the drama and all that energy we put into the addict which in turn gives us temporary rises in endorphins. When we stop our bodies have trouble because it keeps wanting to repeat the old behavior. It can take awhile for our bodies to get use to the new us.
cardinal39
cardinal39
I totally agree,,,your not sure what to focus on,,,you have consumed your entire life about your daughters addiction,,that now she is going well,, your looking to try a fix something else,, addiction can be anything,,, I think your addiction coukd possibly be,,a controll thing,, which is trying to fix situations,,, we might have to out you in a all exclusive rehap,, that pampers you,, a massage ,,, a quite room,,,soneone to cook for you,,, I'm looking for a place for you!!!

Your daughters is where she needs to be,, shd is an adult pat,, and no longer do you have to take care of her,,, let her act and be the age she is suppose to ,,, and pat,,, act the way you should,,, enjoy you!!!
marg6300
marg6300
I think I know how you feel. I keep myself 100% busy at all times and I think I do it so I don't have time to think about how I really feel. It works for me because I just really want to be a happy and positive person. When I run out of things to do I try to volunteer, at church, at the Naranon meetings anywhere there are people there are volunteer activities. You need to feel needed! and trust me there is an organization out there that can really need and use you for all that you are! I am happy things have improved for you so now its time to move forward with your life...
blueviolet725
blueviolet725
you gave your all. you have nothing left. recharge, regroup and do what you need to make your life satisfying. Try not to worry about the addict and feel what you think is lacking in your life and then go for it. we give so much that our batteries are depleted...time for scary freedom and starting anew.