Hi my name is Phil and I sympathise with what you are going through. Your daughter is not stupid she suffers from the diease of addication. My daughter do a show on youtube about addication.I would suggest you watch the episode on effects on the family. Go to youtube and search theemptychairshow. It describes the process my wife and I went through to deal with this awfull diease. I hope it helps you to see we all have to go through a process. Stay strong and never give up hope

Your daughter is not going to get straight until she wants to. I know it's a very difficult situation you're in; you don't want to feel like you're abandoning her. Is she trying to get clean? Is this like a slip-up but she's trying to recover, or is she not even trying to stop?

My point is, if she's receptive to stopping and this is a slip up, try to help her and offer her support. Get her to a meeting, or counseling. Don't offer judgement, but be honest and talk to her. But you need to draw a bottom line and stick to it, and if she goes across the line you have to stick to it or she will continue to use your support to get high.

I would let my daughter know that I know that she took the pills and would not believe any of her lies she will tell.. Then I would tell her she has a choice, let this be a slip and she gets back on track or if she wants to continue down the road of using then she has to leave immediately. It is not fair to you or her son to live like this. Be strong, firm, yet loving, and let her know the decision is hers and hers alone. If she chooses to keep abusing drugs then let her suffer the consequences. I know this will be hard on you, but better she learns that her actions have ramifications that she will not like.Do not enable, the sooner you stop the sooner she will hit or bottom or you will raise it for her.

Ok,, from one mom to another ,,, I'm going to ask you a question ,,, why are you tip toeing and so worried about your addicts feelings right now?,,, she does not care right except the chance to use,, why would she quit,, she can use,, and have a nice, warm couch to pass out on, when she wakes up,, there is food maybe 5ft away,,, then after she eats,,, she has a hot shower, to go In,, oh and then she can play with her son for a quick minute,,,, then we can start all over,,, what exactly is she trying to do,,, besides pop pills,,, and getting High, take a step back,,, your addict is controlling you,,, of course confront her about the misuse of the amount of pills,, it's not about not loving our addicts,, we are killing them, by enabling them to use,,,, I stuck to a boundary, you can not use in my home any more ,, she choose to leave ,, the warm house , food, her daughter ect,,, hell yea was the hardest thing I ever did,, I'll be honest the first 6weeks,,, I wanted so many times to pick her up,,, I could nt,,, today she is 90days not using herion,, had to find a job,, lives in a nice place,,, of course our relationship is not the same,, talking everyday,,, it will one day come back,, addicts are very self centered,,, I have to let get control her own life,, I pray everyday she gets it,,,
My point,,, I guess until you can no longer want to be control by your addict,, is when you will follow through,,, empty threats are simply wasted air,,,,


Peace !

This could be my sister and my mother's situation. She lived at home for many years while dealing with heroin addiction, misuse of suboxone ect. We finally came to the conclusion that we are not in charge of her recovery. SHE is in charge of it. My mom finally just gave her the prescription and when she relapsed again she was out. She was in jail, homeless and THEN she seemed to get it.. She was sick. Now she is living in a sober living home and has a job. This process took many years and we tried everything, but it wasn't up to us.. we never understood this before. You need to do what's best for YOU and that child. Prayers to you. I can relate and know that it is a tough spot to be in. Stay strong.
Karen

Dear Patnard, you are doing what I did you are more worried and concerned than your daughter is. Your right she does have alot to lose but until she feels the effects of her using she has no reason to stop. You are here safety net as I was to my son. She's not stupid, she is an addict exibiting addict behavior. My advice to you, would be to confront her along with consequences and boundaires for her using. It will be the hardest thing you will do, but it will also be the best thing you can do for your addict. Hugs to you.

Thank you all for your advice, I know you are right she i only going to get better when she wants to. I have some difficult decisions to make but I think I am going to wait until the holidays are over and if I see no improvement then somr change will have to be made. Thank again. Happy Holidays to all.

Hugs,
Pat