Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
My youngest son, who is an alcoholic. called last night. He started a new job, which he hates. He quit his last job, which he liked, because he got drunk one night & started listening to his coworkers telling him he needed to quit because he would never get ahead, or he would become a robot like management. Stupid move, & he knew it. He wasn't full-blown drunk last night, but he was on his way. He is SO unhappy, depressed. He has always been shy, sensitive & socially awkward. I begged him to get help, once again, & to start on an anti-depressant. He refused like he always does. He lives 650 miles away, & I feel so helpless. I talk to him the best I can, and he knows he an depend on his parents. I am at a total loss as to what to do. He is 22 & I cant make him do anything. I see him slowly pissing his life away without even giving himself a chance. He thinks his life will always be the way it is now. I told him he isn't being fair to himself, & to give himself time & to GET HELP! I am feeling like a total failure as a mother. I feel like Im in Limbo. Advice anyone? Thanks.
You describe your son as shy, sensitive and socially awkward, and it sounds to me like he is self-medicating with alcohol. He is also very impressionable and perhaps impulsive, so that he's making poor choices. It must be hard to watch from a distance and be unable to have any influence, but we need to "accept the things we cannot change". The best thing you could do right now is get yourself to an AlAnon program where you can get peer support for YOU!
It's so frustrating when our loved ones complain about feeling "stuck" in their circumstances, but when you present possible solutions (counselling, treatment), they won't go anywhere near it. That's immaturity for you. You've done all you can. Hopefully your son will be ready to reach out sooner rather than later. In the meantime, look after yourself and get yourself to a meeting. Best of luck!