Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
Hello, I just found out last week that my son has been addicted to Oxycontin for the past year. He uses around one or two pills a day, most days. He is functioning pretty well although his personal finances are in bad shape; no surprise. I practically had a breakdown when I found out. I am going through a divorce and trying to keep my home with no help from my husband who moved out of the country. There are no Nar-Anon groups in my city, so I was happy to find this website! The good news is my son wants to quit and is self motivated. Of course I want to help him fix this problem and from what I've learned so far, that is MY major problem. I need a lot of education. I just ordered Setting Boundaries With My Adult Children, which was recommended by one of your members. My cousin and his daughter are Rehab counselors, so I am going to his house tomorrow for "Training" he calls it. I had a real hard time working the past week. Almost broke down a few times. My cousin says I must take care of myself but I need direction with that. This breaks a mom's heart! It also has a stigma which means you can't tell everyone. I have one girlfriend so far that has been in my shoes and is there for me. Addiction is so prevalent and it shocks me that there are no support groups for family members in my city. There may be, in some of the Church's but I don't attend church nor do I pray. My cousin says prayer is part of the solution. This disturbs me because neither myself nor my son will be using that tool. Can we still recover without prayer? Surely not everyone involved with addiction is religious!
and you can modify anything if it helps. Also there are other groups...some here use SMART recovery...but if you are limited where you are for AA and NA I am pretty sure chances are smaller for Smart...
No one talks about who is an addict in their household. they are everywhere...shopping addicts, eatting addicts, sex addicts, drug addicts, alcohol addicts, it goes on and on....
The fact that he wants help is huge.
Your training will be about learning about the boundaries...not loving him to death. And letting him fail forward to success.
Welcome to our group, and we hope we can support you!
Meanwhile, yes, you must take care of yourself. He must devote himself to learning to feel feelings and deal with them. He has to face what moved him towards using. You might want to lurk on the sites for the addicts so you can understand more of what they think. I did on the Alcoholism site and it certainly expands my mind.
You are not alone. Welcome.
Our personal nightmare started just like yours: we found out a year after the fact that our son had been using oxy. By the time we found out, he had dropped out college, had lost his college job, and he had moved back home. But he was able to quickly get a local job, and within a few weeks moved into an apartment . nearby. What happened next was heroin. And then everything fell apart and nothing has been the same since. You are blessed that your son wants to quit now and is motivated and hasn't made the jump to that dreaded drug that takes everyone hostage. You are taking all the right steps to equip yourself to handle this challenge.
As for the stigma...we live with it everyday. We have told some family members and a few old and solid friends, people who will not judge us or my son too harshly because they have seen how we tried to rear our children every day since they were babies and because they know there's another side to my son. But it's been an isolating experience, hurtful and agonizing. I'm glad you have family that can be of such tremendous help. I'm sorry you have to be here, but I'm glad you came.
Start a support group in your area, they can be anything you want them to be,, and you would be surprised at how many would show up,,, unfortunately addiction is not prejudice,
My first suggestion is set boundaries,, not empty threats , if you continue to enable and addict,, you feed their addiction!
It's sad, that there really is no support for families,, our government knows there is a huge crisis of our young people addicted to drugs,,
Educate yourself on addiction !!! Absorb every information you can, addiction is a disease of the mind, body, and soul !
So you don't pray , well then meditate a higher power does not mean God,,, it means to release your sanity somewhere,, you have no control over your addict , nor can you fix it!!,, don't ever give up,, but simply step aside,,,
Hugs