Two thoughts. (1) I found a drug slang dictionary that said "K" is slang for PCP. I know that isn't what you want to hear, but I also think addicts make up their own slang so maybe it's something else. (2) You seemed confused by him texting for drugs and also texting people about how great it is to escape heroin. My person had her drug people and her not-drug people and kept up appearances for the non-drug people. He could very well be using but keeping some people thinking he isn't either to maintain friendships or just not have to risk telling them. Anyway, I'm sorry you're having this crop up again. I know it's a horrible feeling.

Thanks Bham guy i appreciate your thoughts dee

There is another drug called "special K". It's pretty much cat tranquilizers. Supposed to mess you up pretty good. I don't know much else about it.

I'm sorry you're back to this place. It's a shitty place to be. Our addicts really don't see what they put us through.

"K" rang a bell. At least in the UK, it was known as "special K", a club drug. It's Ketamine. There's even a song about it by "Placebo' going like "you're my special K"...

I'm copy-pasting from wikipedia

"Ketamine is a drug used in human and veterinary medicine. Its hydrochloride salt is sold as Ketanest, Ketaset, and Ketalar.

Pharmacologically, ketamine is classified as an NMDA receptor antagonist.[2] At high, fully anesthetic level doses, ketamine has also been found to bind to opioid receptors type 2 in cultured human neuroblastoma cells however, without agonist activity[3]"

I also found this:

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-504763_162-57368946-10391704/club-drug-ketamine-cures-depression-instantly-how/

You're wise Dee to keep your eyes open.. Thinking of you..

I don't know about K....but the fact that he has gotten so many good things going- work, helping others, etc....I am hoping he is just thinking about using....whatever it is.
Well, now you know. So sorry for your pain. You know you are doing everything right. Question him and have your BS meter ready....
Shoot, I wish he was done with this crap. Hugs to you. Prayers for peace for you and hubby.

Man...that's a lot to take in. Regardless, the texts speak for themselves. I am so very sorry you're back to this point. I wish I could make your hurt go away. :(

I too am sorry for your suffering and pain. I wish there was someone out there that could reach these kids because I know deep down they are suffering too. Please take care.

Hi Dee.. I asked Sam....about K... Ketamine for sure... Cat tranquilizer like macksbaby said... It is a psychedelic... But disassociative, he said it takes you out of your body... No emotions... Sweetie, love you, wish I could give Matt a motherly kick in the butt... You do the same for my Sam, ok? Lol

Thank you friends for all your thoughts prayers and well wishes I really do appreciate them. When Matt got home he already knew something was up by his dad's demeanor during the day at work. I had asked my husband not to say anything to Matt at work because I feel it is better that we put up a united front at home and I know that is not an easy task for my husband to keep quiet all day but he did. Anyway we talked to Matt about the bottle of urine I found which he admitted was urine and claimed it was from awhile ago and he forgot about it which I told him was not true because in previous room checks I had looked in that spot and it was not there. Matt knows I can and will check his room at anytime # 1 this is our house and we will not have drugs in it # 2 I explained to him that I have 2 younger kids to protect and his mood swing on weds concerned me Not that he has ever threatened anyone here but if anyone is taking a mind altering substance you don't know what they could potentially do to themselves or others. He accepts that I had a right to search his room but he feels I crossed the line by going through his phone. I will admit I felt bad about doing it and it was not really right of me to do but when I have reason to be concerned by his behavior I have to do what I have to do. I did a drug test on him he was negative however the tests i have are 12 panel test picks up pot opiates benzos cocaine pcp etc etc and this K he spoke about if it is ketamine or K2 ( synthetic marijuana) it would not pick up anyway. I asked him what K referred to and he said stuff sold in head shops like synthetic pot but he is too young to buy it so this other guy was getting it for him. I told him I know that synth pot was outlawed in NY state recently so I don't believe him and even if it was that crap it has been linked to deaths . Of course my biggest concern is that he still has such a desire to get high after all he has been through I feel like I will never reach him. Yes he has come along way physically since my nightmare started but mentally i feel like we are still back at square one actually even worse cause when this all came to light he was sorry apologetic etc now he is defensive angry and in denial He feels like I try to control him and I suffocate him with my concern There is definetley some truth to that but i explained to him that I feel I have to help control him because he himself doesn't do it and I don't want to have things this way but he put us all here. As far as caring too much well how can i not ? I am not pinning medals on myself but if I didn't check on him that night on May 5 we would have found him dead the next morning no doubt about it, Believe me I am still traumatized by that memory of finding him like that and I want nothing more in life than for him to wake up and get sober and put his life back together I don't want to have to treat him this way but i feel like God gave me that responsibility to watch over him and sometimes I don/t feel like getting out of bed and going upstairs to check on him but I have to cause what if I don't and that same thing happens again I can't live with that . My life really effin sucks and I feel like a split personality between dealing with all his crap and then trying to put on a happy face for my 2 girls it sucks how long can you live like this? I'm sorry i don't mean to bring everyone down but I just want so much drama to stop. I told him that maybe he should get his own place like he has been wanting to maybe he needs to see how hard it really is to keep a roof over your head buy groceries etc and I know he would probably come back because its hard to make it and maybe he would come back more humble with a new found respect for us and maybe he will make it and like being a grown up and thats fine too as much as i don't really want him to go I don't want to live like this either so we'll see what happens One good bit of news I got the car insur co to remove him from our policy so that was good news yesterday it saves me over $ 330 a month so Im thrilled ok thanks again for all your concern everyone Dee

I don't think you should feel guilty about the phone. People have a right to privacy when (1) they live in their own place or (2) they live with you and have either not broken trust or have earned it back. I'm going through a divorce, but my deal was that if she earned trust while here I would stay and work on it. But if it had to be her way ("stay out of my phone, I'll do things my way, quit asking questions, etc.") then she would have to recover outside the house. It sounds even more harsh with a spouse, but it's not fair to the kids or the people in the house to never know when there is potential danger. Someone in recovery (I think) should be an open book.

bhamguy you are 100% right. S omeone in recovery should be an open book as sad as I am to say it is obvious matt is not in recovery he still lies try to manipulate and wants to act like he is in recovery but I know he is not the only thing that has changed is his drug of choice sadly Dee

does he just do counceling? does he want to be sober? or just not get caught? Is he doing NA or anything like that? I like that in AA my son was accountable to himself, his group and his sponsor. that guy (his sponsor) is called Yoda at my house, and he took my place in the whole "tell me what is going on" part of this fight.
I am happy for the money. Glad you are still thinking so clearly and sad that you are being pulled in so many directions. This crap is not for sissies....We are a lot stronger than we ever knew we could be. Peace and Hugs to you.

Just a quick response to you Blue I don't really know if he wants to be sober or not .Sometimes i think he does and sometimes i don't think so, Like you said maybe he just don't want to get caught.

Dee, I'm so sorry you are going through this. Dee you are me 6 months ago, I was becoming obsessed with trying to think I could stop Sean from using, I could get through his thick head, I could circumvent him buying, using etc., etc., first K is special K. It is a synthetic drug, the urine is so he can pass the drug test you give him. If you go back though my journals I ask can addicts be functioning, because like Matt Sean was up early for work, come home at night blah, blah, remember when it comes to using that are masters of discretion and know how to manipulate everyone, every situation and everything to get high. I'm sorry, Dee but like me you have to, must, create a consequence for his using, until you do the situation will never change. I know the pain, I know how hard this is, but the only way to save Matt is to save yourself first and draw a line in the sand. My son told me something a couple of weeks ago and he said one night he was ranting and said !" we'll then I'm going to kill myself, and I said take the easy way out. I don't even remember saying that's but he did, and he said he knew, that I was no longer going to enable him. I was where you are and what I did well you know. It was either in patient or he was going to choose to no longer live in our home. It was the hardest thing I ever did in my life, in hind site I wish I did it sooner. I was an enabler. I love you Dee, and your a wonderful mom, and a beautiful person. You know what to do. Always here! Hugs

Dee You know how much i appreciate ALL the support you have given me. I know how well things have turned out for Sean and I am sooooo happy for you, Sean , your husband , and your daughter. I guess i am just scared what if i tell him to get out because he won't go to inpatient and instead of admitting he needs help and giving in I am terrified that he will end up dead in the street somewhere. I am really tyring to build up my courage to face the inevitable and I am praying in the mean time that he realizes that he needs to change. 18 years old is such a tough part of it He thinks he knows everything and everything is going to be fine. Obviuosly it is not fine at all ! I have never been so torn and unhappy in my entire life . I feel like he really doesn't want to change so how do you motivate someone to change you make things hard on them. I have started doing that you all know I took his truck away and I don't do anything for him except give him a place to stay shower eat. The only thing left is to kick him out and I know he could bounce around from friend to friend for awhile or he could just do himself in faster with drugs or alcohol . Dee if I knew for sure or even most likely that he would step up for help if thrown out I would have done it already and I know it will probably come to that and when i can't take anymore I will have no choice , but I just started this mess in January and i am trying see if given time and effort and consequences he will wake up , he may not and then i will have no alternative but for now( and that only means today) i am going to try a little longer to get through to him I love you dee you are always there for me Thank you !