It sounds like you already know this, but for someone in recovery, all drugs and alcohol have to be viewed the same. He's not everybody anymore - he knows he is uniquely susceptible to addiction and ought to know what is and isn't off limits for his recovery. Anyway, sorry it is such a struggle - I hope he figures it out soon and without any more life-threatening relapses.

They see it everyday on TV and advertising. Drinking is cool and its okay. All the friends are sitting around having a good time drinking etc. My ex ah would do the same thing, he would drink to try and control his wanting to use drugs. Only brain doesn't know, it just wants the high. Has your son been tested for dual diagnosis. He is replacing one drug for another. Alcohol is a liquid drug.
He is young 18 set some more boundaries. Know he will relapse and hopefully you can get him to see for him no mind altering substance is okay. Isn't 18 under age so no drinking either.
I'm sorry I know this is painful to watch your son ruin his life.

My addict did the same thing, he actually ended up doing time for meth when he had just turned 18.....as soon as he was released from prison, he switched to the one legal and socially acceptable drug...alcohol.
It is just as dangerous and possibly more so BECAUSE it is socially accepted.
He is 31 years old and has been told even if he quit drinking today he will die of cirohsis (sp) maybe not this week, maybe not even this year, but at 31 his life expectancy has been permanantley shortened by booze.
I wish HIS mother would have pulled herself away from HER addictions at that tender age, he may not be where he is today.
Hang in there Dee, BIG hugs that U can stop this vicious cycle for your son before he is just like my addict.......hopeless and drunk.

Thank you so much for all the support I DO appreciate it. I agree with everyones comments bhamguy you are 100 percent correct he should not use any substance and Katrinka the socially acceptable thing is true he sees this as no nig deal and he is absolutely underage but that doesn't stop him Lost I am sorry that your addict has jeopardized his health to such an extent at such a young age what a tragedy. I am having a hard time understanding why in just the past 6 months has he spiraled out of control so fast it seems like he feels like well mom and dad have stood by me and i have done so much that this is not that big a deal now of course I am not sure that is what he is thinking but that seems to make sense to me I don't even know anymore what to think or do next, Katrinka their was talk of a dual diagnosis but to be honest with you the rehab place he went to really didn't have any type of family involvement what so ever . I am so disappointed in the whole lack of mental health programs at least where I live in NY. I am just tired wornout and broken no matter what I have tried it seems to have all been in vain and I truly don't know how much more pain and suffering I can handle. I always felt so horrible for the people on this panel whose addicts were in denial because how do you help someone who will not recognize that they need help? The sad answer is you don't. I pray that my son and all those that need help will recognize that and start their journey to recovery Dee

You might want to check into the Ellis Institute it is located in NY. It is a very good program and uses cognitive therapy.

http://www.rebt.org/public/center-for-psychological-evaluation.html
They might could help you.

Oh,my dear friend, I want you to take a moment to read your last words, you will notice"I" and the point is You can't do it, he has to do it. It is the most heartbreakiing and painful thing to understand, especially as a loving, caring Mom. I think I have told you before their age is probably his worse enemy along with the drugs/alcohol. I wish I could say something or do something but I can't and neither can you. The last option maybe for him that he has a choice either rehab or he can longer live in your home, because his behavior is not accetpable to you and the family, the choice is his. That is what I had to do for my son, to finally realize I was no longer going to accept his addiction nor was I going to allow his addicition take over my life. I love you Dee, and I pray for you everynight. Your friend, Dee

Dear Dee I truly feel your pain and know exactly what you're going through. My 18 yr old son pulled that exact same crap on us and like you "I" tried everything that was available to me to get him help - to the tune of us and our insurance carrier spending in excess of $100k for treatment on a kid who didn't care about anything other than his next fix. He's dual diagnosed with among other things OCD and that combined with his drug & alcohol use created toxic behavior problems which have now landed him in jail due to multiple felony charges. What I'm trying to say is no matter how much we try to help them it will all be in vain. It will only be a fruitful effort if the user is committed to getting better. From my experience kids only use 1 side of their brain at a time but need to see from both to make rational decisions. When our daughter was 16 and pulled this kinda crap we had her taken away & locked up in a place for run-away kids. For her it was worse than death but it worked like a charm; she graduated from HS & is now in college studying nursing. As a parent of a user I think our job is to try to figure out how and what we can do to make them see it for themselves. In my son's situation we tried the lock-up and other deterients but nothing we said, did or tried to show him worked. He was Hell-bent on defying us and self-disstructing so we let him go. We kicked him out of the house and he immediately screwed up and is now looking at a probable prison sentence because of it. Based on the letters I'm getting from him I think he now sees and gets it; but unfortunately for him it's going to be a long hard road back. I pray you'll be able to find what I've come to call "the trigger" that will help open your son's eyes & bring him back to you.

Thank you Katrinka for yet one more helpful bit of information from your wonderful bag of tricks ( I actually just found some humor left in me ) You always go out of your way to educate and inform me and for that i am truly grateful! Deematt What can i say to you ...we have become so close and that may be the only positive thing to have come out of such a terrible situation I know with you I have found a friend for life and I love you too dear friend. Cyndee My heart truly goes out to you I know you are a wonderful mother who loves her son so much because the work involved with these kids is never ending and it would be so much easier to just give up and yet even after all he has put you through you are still there for him. I'm sorry it turned out the way it has for you and your son. The only thing I can say is that he is still alive and so your story can still have a happy ending as can mine, I know that time is running out for him to stay in our home I will NEVER accept his lifestyle and to have to choose between my son or my daughters husband and my own sanity is as bad as if a masked gunmen entered my home and said pick which one I'm going to harm it is really like asking me to do the impossible but I know soon it must be done. I hate that my son has put me in this position when I would rather just die myself but the reason I will do it is because it may be the only thing that can save him . Dee