Hello all, I am the girlfriend of an addict. My boyfriend is 44 (I am 28). He has being using alcohol and cocaine since he was 15 years old. He has used pretty much every drug there is (except heroin so he claims) but cocaine and alcohol are his main addictions. He also suffers from depression and has a very bad temper. I have been with him for 2 years and we have an 8 month old daugter together. He punched me in the face when i was 5 months pregnant giving me a black eye while he was high on coke and xanax. He is 1 year out of his 3rd stint in rehab. When he came home he promised he would go to meetings but he never did. Still I was proud of him he made it through Thanksgiving, Xmas and New Years without a drink or anything. He was clean and sober for over 100 days and the day I came home with our daughter from the hospital he took off for the night. He began using alcohol again ever since then saying he was just drinking and that it was ok. I was very uncomfotable with this and voiced it to him many times. But unfortunately when he gets something in his head you cant stop him. I know of at least 2 instances that he did use cocaine on but he got himself back on track.

Now this saturday that just passed he took off with his loser friend. They were out stealing cars for money but yet when he came home on sunday night he had nothing on him. He came home and was mad at me. He always tries to make me out to be the bad one. I am the only one who even cares what happens to him anymore. His family gave on him long ago. He sat at the dining room table rocking back and forth taking things in and out of the fridge. He was falling all over the place. I told him i could see that he had been using (which he didnt deny). He got angry and said he was done with me and called me every name in the book. Usually it takes him about 3 or 4 days to come back to earth after he gets high. When i got home from work yesterday he told me he wants me to move out.

I love him very much but, I just cant anymore. I am exhausted from this relationship, but I know in a few days hes going to be apologizing. I dont know what to do. I dont want to expose my children (also I have a 3 yr old form a previous marriage and he has a 12 yr old) to this and my heart is just broken. Unfortunately I have no where to go, i have no one that could take me in. I am planning on moving out now but it wont be until January. I feel like no one understands. Thats why I am here. Sorry for the novel. I am just so lost.