I hear ya jms,,,, although my situation is a "adult" child,,,, (22),,, who has once again took off on oct 24th,,,, during that week every emotion was used in my system,,, to make a long story short,, yesterday she was arrested along with her Prince Charming, whom introduce her to the ugly world of herione,,, last night was probably the best steep I had in a long time,, knowing that she was in one place.... well about an hour ago,,,, found out someone bailed her out,, I'm assuming,, now mind you the only reason I found out she was arrested is becasue my b rother just happens to be in that field of work, and was told by the arresting officer,,, still have not heard from her,, which I probably won't until she is sober,,,, but she was mad at me,, cause I confronted her about her using again,,, she does have two kids,,,, the 5year old we are taking custody today as a matter of fact,,, and she has a 8month old by a different man,, who has custody of him,,,,, ,, I"m angry too!,,, y ou know life does have to be so difficult if you just follow the "moral" rules,,,, ugh,,,,, and if it helps my daughter called me all the same names,,,

I lived with a man who specialized in controlling me by shutting me out...I tried so many different things...our (he never went) therapist told me that it was like running at a brick wall...the harder you run, the farther you bounce back. (or we finally splat.)
He had ocd for cleaning (this was 30 years ago) and one day I went nuts after he had cleaned the kitchen 7 times and I took mustard and ketchup and squirted them all over the place...I truely lost it. I said "there, now you have something to clean!"
I visited crazy.
the insanity of dealing with sick people...

all i can say is thanks to my friends here and thanks to my therapist who today told me "you do not own the problem, so it is okay to let go of the control".......she said i am doing just fine and no matter what the outcome i will be good. oh and p.s. she assured me that i am not a psychopath LOL

I know all about it. I actually think I am past the pissed right off angry and have now slipped into the I no longer give a crap state. Thankfully there's no children involved. Today I found myself not just thinking about the big move out but actually thinking about the timeline to do it. I'd say it's a fair bet to say that I'm moving on. I can't stand the disappointment, the lies, the sneaking around and all else any longer, I just simply don't care anymore. If she's not going to make a move to help herself, neither am I then. I'll take care of me. Disease or not, she knows she has a problem because she admits it willingly, but wont get help. Anyways, I babbling again. Try to Keep Smilin ;)

I so relate to your anger, as well as others'. My sister and the man that introduced her to heroin broke into my brother's house and stayed the weekend because somehow they found out that he wasn't there. When he came home, they were there with some of their "friends" and were using..of course. They ate all of his food, (I guess it's good she eats sometimes), they showered and left black residue in all of the places where they were using. He called the police, but they took so long that everyone was gone. He gave their names in a report, but I'm not sure what will happen. She was also supposed to go to a custody hearing for her kids this week. Her ex was probably going to be awarded custody as she has failed all of the mandatory UAs. Its strange that she goes to drop them knowing that she has been using. Anyway, she called the courts and said she couldn't make it and they granted a continuance. It is all so frustrating! I range from missing her to being so mad at her and I find myself waiting for things like court dates, just to see if they will bring some kind of change...any change. I see her kids as much as I can because I have always been very close to them and their dad says that he will take them out of state if he is awarded custody. I can't sleep very well and I am thankful for this outlet and the support that everybody offers. Thank you!!

JJ

Heck, when I lived with ah crack addict his behavior could turn me into a sociopath. I wasn't crazy but when a person constantly badger's you for money, doesn't help out, either depressed in front of the TV or then a super high because they know they are going to get high or drunk. It drives you to the point of craziness. Once I went into ex's shop threw everything out of it. It felt so good, but because of his abusive ways I put it all back before he came back. LOL I can see how his behavior cause me to do a lot of crazy things.
Your the sane one!!

I admit that my son has driven me to the point of screaming and even throwing things. Then he calls me an out of control crazy old bat and immature, which makes me even crazier. This generally happens after he does something that I would expect from a two-year-old, such as yelling "I can't hear you" repeatedly while I'm trying to tell him something.

He also criticizes me about my job because I don't work as hard as he does. After all, I'm in an office and he's on his feet at his part-time job at a factory.

Anger is the only appropriate emotional response when you get crap like this. But, it can get to you. I don't like the person that I turn into when I become that angry, so I have to learn to remove myself from these situations so he doesn't have the chance to push my buttons.

I know you are angry, but you are so right about where that anger is directed. I am glad you have the clarity and understanding this disease has on our loved ones. However, saying sorry is not enough. Try and work on eliminating this illness altogether. It, like many other diseases will kill you. It's a deadly disease that not only affects the person's health, but thier spirit as well. I speak from experience since I found this site as a result of losing my husband three weeks ago from alcoholism. I pray that no one has to endure that pain I have had to endure from living with and losing a loved one from alcoholsm.