Families & Friends Of Addicts Support Group
Addiction affects more than just the individual. This community is dedicated to the families and friends of individuals suffering from any form of addiction. Mental health professionals are increasingly considering alcoholism and addiction as diseases that flourish in and are enabled by family systems. Family members react to the addicted person with particular behavioral...
For those of you who know some of my story I was sober from alcohol for 12 years. My husband and I were having marital problems and yes...I did cause some of his pain by a recent involvement with someone but he had too. Anyway, my husband was actively using his drug of choice cocaine.
Because of all the mental and emotional abuse I was suffering under his hand, I told him, "Bill, I'm thinking of picking up" he said nothing to offer support to me and we were actually still together at that point and I thought he still really cared about me. I chose to drink that night and called him for a ride home. He seemed to be gloating that I broke my sobriety. Almost like, ok..now I can continue to party. We ended up separatin and he left to do his drugs and blaming me saying "I treat him like shit". He also couldn't wait to tell my son I was drinking again.
Anyway, thank God I stopped after 3 months and it has been amost 2 months since I drank.
I continue to want to forgive this man b/c I don't want to give up my vows but how can i go back to a man who would give the world to one of his previious NA buddies to keep them from picking up. He would jump through fire when he was active in the program, stay and talk to someone to help them through the moment but for me he was silent.
Because of all the mental and emotional abuse I was suffering under his hand, I told him, "Bill, I'm thinking of picking up" he said nothing to offer support to me and we were actually still together at that point and I thought he still really cared about me. I chose to drink that night and called him for a ride home. He seemed to be gloating that I broke my sobriety. Almost like, ok..now I can continue to party. We ended up separatin and he left to do his drugs and blaming me saying "I treat him like shit". He also couldn't wait to tell my son I was drinking again.
Anyway, thank God I stopped after 3 months and it has been amost 2 months since I drank.
I continue to want to forgive this man b/c I don't want to give up my vows but how can i go back to a man who would give the world to one of his previious NA buddies to keep them from picking up. He would jump through fire when he was active in the program, stay and talk to someone to help them through the moment but for me he was silent.
This is the time of the year we go over our memories. Write down all the crap he really did, and ask yourself is he really going to change. You have made changes so don't go backwards. You had a slip, forgive yourself, forget about it and move on. Your right AH was hoping to have back the old, nonfunctional, chaos fill ways. Nothing will of changed!
Next year will be easier getting past this first year is HARD!
How stupid could i be to think I can actually have something in common with my husband. All the years I was sober and did not attend any meetings b/c I just felt I could do it on my own and did.
He secretly , I know thought I thought I was better than him and all his friends in the program but I never did.
You know, I post sometimes to gain more feedback that will help me make the best decisions. the more I discover, the more I feel Bill has years of ground work to cover b/4 i would ever consider him truly changed.
Thanks again Katrinka