Families & Friends Affected By Suicide Support Group

Suicide affects not only the individual, but also the family and friends who provide support and love. This community is offered as a place for those affected by suicide to gather and gain strength from each other. PLEASE NOTE: If you are suffering from suicidal thoughts, please take advantage of our CRISIS RESOURCES, which you can find at the bottom of every page of the...

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/ Families & Friends Affected By Suicide Support Group

The lie of it gets better with time

coexist03
coexist03
It's has been three and half years since my fathers suicide. And I find that it does not always get better with time. It goes in cycles time heals but then it also damages. As I pass life events and milestones in my life, it's just another thing I can not tell my father, another lost experience, another lost chance at getting closer to my father and learning more about him. I find as more time passes I am more desperate to learn new information about my father. I want to talk to more people who knew him, and re read letters sent to me to read what I could have missed. There are many days where I feel I have moved on and it is not something I cast with me. But then there are other days where I feel I carry this heavy feeling that most other people wouldn't understand and are to uncomfortable to talk about. Father's Day just passed and usually anniversaries birthdays ect don't bother me, but this year I really missed him.
deleted_user
deleted_user
My earthly father, James, died at age 57 under mysterious circumstances. He "fell down a flight of stairs", sustaining serious brain injury that resulted in his death in the hospital. My half brother, his son James Robert (JimBob) hired an attorney at the time to investigate what had really happened. I was only ten years old at the time; my "father" was living apart from my "mother", he moved back to his home town in PA after an illustrious career in advertising in NYC. I have always believed, with no evidence, that his death was not an accident, and so did JimBob.

Your relationship with your Dad was I'm sure quite different from my relationship with my "father". But you have to know that the loss of a parent has serious consequences, even when that loss is from natural causes. I urge you to find a grief counselor. No matter what happened, you can never understand it, because mental illness is not something the so-called 'healthy mind' can comprehend. You need to release yourself from your sense of responsibility (I felt responsible for James' death until I went into therapy in my early 20s). You need to get past this = not FORGET - get past. Your young life is before you. Your choice must be to learn to carry this burden and yet allow life to continue and to choose its opportunities from emotional and mental health.