Shock and disbelief after such a traumatic loss is not uncommon. I think it could be that yes, the reality of it all may be starting to sink in.

If there are many memories, they will surface in this course of grief that you are experiencing. I can almost guarantee that. It's been years since I've lost my brother and from time to time I still get hit with a memory that was buried deep in my brain.

Keep sharing how you feel. Express and process your pain. You have our support and understanding.

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/grief_loss.htm

I feel a little ashamed about it, but I have been feeling the opposite when it comes to wanting to forget. I have been avoiding photos, music that has lyrics, most TV, etc. I even go to the grocery store that's farther away because we usually used to get groceries together. I feel like whenever I remember him, the pain and guilt becomes too strong to bear... Maybe when this passes, I can pull out the photos and reform good memories to describe to our son.

It's been almost a month for me now too...

well i'm now a month on from that post and i'm starting to avoid photo's, music etc. since i found out she was on drugs and our close friend was giving them to her i feel angry and betrayed. I know these feelings will subside but at the moment i avoid thinking of her

I'm sorry to hear about your friends betrayal. I don't know if it will make it better or worse, but the night my husband left he drank a small bottle of top shelf whiskey I had bought for his birthday 5 months prior. I knew he had an alcohol problem, but I thought he would be happy so I got it anyway. He was saving it for a "special occasion"

I read somewhere that people who survive attempted suicide while high or otherwise intoxicated later regret trying to take their life. For me, I put greater blame on myself for supplying the alcohol even though I know he could have bought it on his own any time.

We have to always remember that we cannot control what others choose to do with their own life... Whether that's smoke, drink, do drugs, or end it... It's up to the person.

I would like to avoid all photos etc, but that's not possible. We, like you, found out some things afterward (2 years) that changed (for me anyway) my feelings about the entire matter. It is possible to talk with my husband about his son without either of us feeling sad though. He still misses him everyday of course. To be honest though, if he were in front of me right now I'd say "What the heck were you thinking?" not just about his death but about many things and punch him square in the nose. Then I'd hug him.
It is hard for me to pull up a mental image of him now. (3 1/2 years gone) He was so beautiful and full of life. 31, handsome, physically perfect. A big bear of a guy and gave the best hugs. He is missed by many.

My dear friend Pete, your "Squeege" was using drugs as self medication. She had a serious problem. You are not a psychiatrist, you are not expected to recognize mental illness. We all have some idea about what a mentally ill person "looks like" or how such a person "acts" and these are WRONG. A person can suffer from a profound mental illness and still appear "normal" to others because those "others" don't know the true person behind the illness.

I can't look at a picture of my daughter right now. I have shared a few here and on my Facebook page, but there are no photos in my apartment. The photo albums are in storage. I can't even leave some of her collectible belongings where I can see them. Does this mean I'm erasing her? No. It means I'm protecting myself because I absolutely have to survive.

Will I forget her? NEVER. I can remember the sound of her voice. You will never forget this love, this special woman, ever. You will do whatever it takes to survive this loss. Being angry is OKAY. That will pass. It may take some time, but it will.

I hope you are continuing in therapy.