I am sorry for your loss. My husband killed himself nearly two years ago October 11th. You stated you have a note, most suicides do not write notes and people all wonder why their loved one didn't write. It is actually a sign of logical thought when a note is written, a person who is going to kill themselves is in an illogical moment, deep in depression and actually suffering from "mental illness", they are not themselves. So it doesn't surprise that they wouldn't stop to be writing down things, it just doesn't happen that often. I believe the stat is that 90% never leave a note. So, whatever he put in your note, hold it dear. I am not a real believer in time healing all things. Unfortunate for you and me and all the rest of us with a suicide in our lives, time will not heal this. It has been the worst thing that has happened in my life and I doubt that I will feel any differently in 10 years. The pain changes, it never goes away. I can feel just as lonely and hurt for maybe only moments, but just the same as the days following his suicide. I hope it was a good note. Be well and remember to come back to DS if you are feeling the need to talk.

my husband left me a suicide text , every time I read it I cry, but its all I have of him , I hope and pray he is by my side every day,
god bless everyone on DS .

I'm sorry for your losses and I pray for your healing In Jesus name. Amen.

It's been 5 months for me, there is not a day that goes by that I don't miss him. I got through our anniversary and his birthday albeit with a lot of tears and a pain in my heart like no other. Suicide death is like no other. No note for me either, not sure if I would feel better or not if he did leave one. I agree with Vicki I don't see how anyone gets over this type of loss. I am changed because he was in my life and forever changed because of his death. Be patient with yourself.

I broke up w my boyfriend of 3 years a couple weeks before he took his life. He emailed me a couple hrs before he did it blaming me for so much pain and how much he missed me. This was on Aug 12, 2014. I can't explain the pain in my heart.

He was bipolar and came to my house 3 wks before his suicide threatening to kill himself in my driveway so I would always have to think about what a terrible person I was and all that I did to him. I am so lost. The sadness, the anger, the guilt. How could he do that to someone he loved?

I am sorry for your loss. I just had to go back and clean up what I said because - oh, what the hell. I want to say that no matter what anyone says , it's up to you to go forward. My brother killed himself in 1971 and I still miss him. I think it depends on how close you are to a person; that's how long you will hang on to them. He was my rock. He is the only one in my family who showed any love to me. My mom died 10 months after he killed himself. Remember the song - Mother and Child Reunion by Simon & Garfunkel? 10 months after he died, my mom died. Gestation time. I'm writing this now because it is Thanksgiving and the family that is left have never treated me like my brother did. He loved me. He understood me. And I know I don't look at the rest of my family like I did him, but oh, well. They don't treat me like he did and I can't handle the way they toss me aside like garbage.

I just read the rules and I know I'm not sounding very positive but I want everyone to know that I am okay with not having to deal with my family and am strong on my own. and you can, too.

If anybody wants to write now, this would be the time. I am not suicidal but it would be comforting to hear from someone.

My brother wrote a note. I saw it before he killer himself. If you asked me what it said, I couldn't tell you. I just know it was a strange note. He said something about if I wanted the car, that I could have it, That was weird because I hardly drove, my boyfriend drove me everywhere. But then my brother's life fell apart. I have never moved on from him killing himself. I am fu**ing 60 years old and still miss my brother. Who died in 1971. My mind is still sad. What can I do??????

My son died by suicide 4 years ago. He was only 31yrs old. I didn't realize until I read Vicki's response that only 10% leave a note.

My son left a beautiful note in which he explained why he felt it was his only option, and he talked about seeing angels, and he told me how much he loves me and how sorry he is and how he forgives me.

We had been estranged for 2 years before his passing. If he hadn't left a note, I am not sure how I could have survived. As it was, I felt a lot of guilt and regret for the things we said and did.

I have been blessed with the added support I receive from him. He sends me undeniable signs and messages. I've had amazingly clear visions and I hear his voice prompting me and encouraging me. I often feel his spirit (goosebumps) at times I need to know he is still with me.( I have always been intuitive and sensitive.) All this has made me realize, although he isn't here with me physically, he is still alive.

I still think about him every single day since his passing four years ago. He is always with me. I am sure I will think about him every day for the rest of my life. I take comfort knowing I will be with him again one day. I take comfort knowing he is no longer suffering.

Time doesn't heal, but the pain does lessen. My son's suicide is the worst thing that has happened in my life. I do try to stay positive and hold onto my faith and the good memories. This helps. At first I thought I would fold up and die too. I worried that I would lose my only other son. But as time has passed I don't worry anymore. I have trust that all is well and if something bad happens in my life again, I will be able to handle it. I am stronger now.

I empathize with everyone who has lost a loved one to suicide. Even if your loved one didn't leave a note, or you don't recognize their spirit, believe me, your loved one is still with you and always will be.

Reading these posts is devastating. Suicide is devastating. I lost my wife to suicide three years ago this month. She didn't leave a note and I will never know exactly why she did it. That torments me. She left manuscripts that we are trying to publish that reveal clues and allude to suicide, but that's it. In the end she takes most of her secrets to the grave with her.