Families & Friends Affected By Suicide Support Group
Suicide affects not only the individual, but also the family and friends who provide support and love. This community is offered as a place for those affected by suicide to gather and gain strength from each other. PLEASE NOTE: If you are suffering from suicidal thoughts, please take advantage of our CRISIS RESOURCES, which you can find at the bottom of every page of the...
Hopeless, Helpless & despairing
Cybelle
In Despair and Afflicted
Saturday, July 7, 2012 | A Sad story
I lost my son 2 1/2 years ago to suicide. my only remaining child has been difficult, rebellious, manipulative and devious since her teenage years. She became pregnant out of wedlock and left her dad and me to care for the baby for the first 4 months, continued her life as a single personw/no responsibilities and no accountability for her inappropiate behavior.
After a period of escalation of her undesirable ways (she lived with us and we were supporting both her and our granddaughter) , she then decided to "punish" us when we insisted that she assume responsibility for her child and get involved in her life and begin a productive and meaningful lifestyle (always careful to use diplomacy in this urging, lest she go into one of her rages. This was seemingly, acquiescence but was, in fact, for the sake of our adoring grandchild).
She she stormed out with her baby and has not been in contact w/us nor has allowed her to know her whereabouts or to see the baby. Additionally, posts hateful, untruthful & hurtful messages about us on Facebook. I'm in despair & in constant worry about them. She has blocked us from any contact & is now a welfare mom. The baby's father is nowhere to be found. Her dad & I have tried every attempts to persuade her to come to her senses to no avail. We have sought help from the authorities, legal advice, CPS, etc, only to discover that grandparents have NO RIGHTS as ruled by the Supreme Court!
We are both professional parents who have always instilled moral, character and a work ethic in our children & are in a solid financial position, so it's devastating to have experienced such outcomes with both our children. Our son was a physycian, whom had never exhibited depression nor any signs that would lead him to take his own life.
We are told that our daughter neglects the baby, sleeps all day & the baby is developmentally regressed due to lack of stimulus, secluded in a squalid apt. and having cartoons on the TV acting as her continuous baby-sitter. . We are heartsick & have no options left. We are convinced she is sociopathic, so it's useless o appeal to her senses. Life has lost all luster for me and I can't sleep w/o Rx, and cry daily about all 3 of them. Unlike me, my husband is able to compartmentalize his emotions and refuses to yield to emotionalism. He is not receptive to reaching out any longer to our daughter as she has been so unjustifiably cruel to us both.
There just seems to be no solution.
Saturday, July 7, 2012 | A Sad story
I lost my son 2 1/2 years ago to suicide. my only remaining child has been difficult, rebellious, manipulative and devious since her teenage years. She became pregnant out of wedlock and left her dad and me to care for the baby for the first 4 months, continued her life as a single personw/no responsibilities and no accountability for her inappropiate behavior.
After a period of escalation of her undesirable ways (she lived with us and we were supporting both her and our granddaughter) , she then decided to "punish" us when we insisted that she assume responsibility for her child and get involved in her life and begin a productive and meaningful lifestyle (always careful to use diplomacy in this urging, lest she go into one of her rages. This was seemingly, acquiescence but was, in fact, for the sake of our adoring grandchild).
She she stormed out with her baby and has not been in contact w/us nor has allowed her to know her whereabouts or to see the baby. Additionally, posts hateful, untruthful & hurtful messages about us on Facebook. I'm in despair & in constant worry about them. She has blocked us from any contact & is now a welfare mom. The baby's father is nowhere to be found. Her dad & I have tried every attempts to persuade her to come to her senses to no avail. We have sought help from the authorities, legal advice, CPS, etc, only to discover that grandparents have NO RIGHTS as ruled by the Supreme Court!
We are both professional parents who have always instilled moral, character and a work ethic in our children & are in a solid financial position, so it's devastating to have experienced such outcomes with both our children. Our son was a physycian, whom had never exhibited depression nor any signs that would lead him to take his own life.
We are told that our daughter neglects the baby, sleeps all day & the baby is developmentally regressed due to lack of stimulus, secluded in a squalid apt. and having cartoons on the TV acting as her continuous baby-sitter. . We are heartsick & have no options left. We are convinced she is sociopathic, so it's useless o appeal to her senses. Life has lost all luster for me and I can't sleep w/o Rx, and cry daily about all 3 of them. Unlike me, my husband is able to compartmentalize his emotions and refuses to yield to emotionalism. He is not receptive to reaching out any longer to our daughter as she has been so unjustifiably cruel to us both.
There just seems to be no solution.
deleted_user
Did you read my email.
deleted_user
I don't understand your not having rights. In NY State, grandparents do have rights. I worked for a Judge for two years, I've seen the State Family Court turn custody of grandchildren over to grandparents due to situations such as you describe. The child is being neglected. CPS is dropping the ball. That child should be removed from her mother and you are the first people they would turn to. There must be something you can do, legally. Call a lawyer expert in family law, ask how you can approach the court to intervene. They could at least appoint a guardian ad litem (this is a lawyer who acts on behalf of the infant) and a CASA worker (these are trained volunteers who interact with dysfunctional families on behalf of the children). Don't stop trying. It sounds to me as if your daughter is suffering from a mental health issue and most likely needs psychiatric intervention and medication, but she's not likely to do that voluntarily and cannot be forced unless she attempts to harm herself and is found doing so. From that job, I knew several grandparents who were literally fighting their own children in court for the sake of a grandchild(ren). It can be done. Don't give up.
Cybelle
Thank you so much for your response. My hiusband is an attorney and addtionally, we have consulted w/two family lay attorneys. In Texas, there NO grandparents' rights unless we are able to prove her being unfit. Tryst me, we've tried and it's virtually impossible and all t's done is create further alienation with her who has made sure we can't contact or even know where she is!! I'm only hoping for a miracle and tha my anxiety & despair be somehow mitigated. Thank yo sooo much for caring!
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