Estranged Parents and Adult children Community Group
This group is for all parents of adult children that are or have been estranged. A place to vent and share.
Greetings, My name is aka Mama C - although my user name is" momnest". I just joined, so I'm writing to say "Hello" and in hopes you will come over to my profile and read my first posting which explains how I was estranged.
TOUGH LOVE, is aching, but needed to stop the enabling, as well as the bad behavior? It's been going on strong - estrangement for 4 months. Alot of on and off heartaches in between, which lead up to this. However, due to it's still fresh, the abandonment is what I don't get. The entitlement which he was not brought up with a silver spoon has me in WHAT THE????
Desert, abandoned, leave, divorce, reject, neglect, lying, settling for drugs, rock and roll leaves me in astonishment and grips me with such sadness. I know no two situations would ever be identical, however, it's nice to have a place for solace, or be able to vent with other's who would at least understand. All my close friends expected me to get over it! They have no clue, therefore I choose to keep my distance cause it hurts me greater in the long run?
I welcome comments, or just "Hello's" or not? But thanks for allowing me to intro myself. P.S. I'm 60 yrs old, had my box when I was 38 and I'm divorced in a relationship solid who he is going thru something very similar, who's been estranged from his only son, and son's wife for no unknown reason. Amazing! Mama C
TOUGH LOVE, is aching, but needed to stop the enabling, as well as the bad behavior? It's been going on strong - estrangement for 4 months. Alot of on and off heartaches in between, which lead up to this. However, due to it's still fresh, the abandonment is what I don't get. The entitlement which he was not brought up with a silver spoon has me in WHAT THE????
Desert, abandoned, leave, divorce, reject, neglect, lying, settling for drugs, rock and roll leaves me in astonishment and grips me with such sadness. I know no two situations would ever be identical, however, it's nice to have a place for solace, or be able to vent with other's who would at least understand. All my close friends expected me to get over it! They have no clue, therefore I choose to keep my distance cause it hurts me greater in the long run?
I welcome comments, or just "Hello's" or not? But thanks for allowing me to intro myself. P.S. I'm 60 yrs old, had my box when I was 38 and I'm divorced in a relationship solid who he is going thru something very similar, who's been estranged from his only son, and son's wife for no unknown reason. Amazing! Mama C
I haven't shared my estrangement issue with many of my friends. I'm not sure they think I will get over it or if my son will just "snap" out if it and stop being such an a$$. Either way, it's one of those battles that parents seem to fight on their own and it doesn't get brought up much.
Do you struggle at all with what you should do. For example, should I send him an e-mail, letter, card in the mail to let him know I love him and he will always be my son, but he needs to learn to stand on his own two feet and start figuring life out? I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Either way, thanks for letting me send you a note and I'd love to hear back if you feel like swapping stories and/or thoughts suggestions.
Thanks,
MNMom12
Keep your head up, live life with your partner, don't look for what you did wrong, for you did nothing wrong, enjoy the moment for what it is, and write anytime, of your feelings.
Welcome and feel free to vent, scream, whatever you need, to help you get through this, kindness and warmth sent your way.
Today is my eldest daughter's birthday.
We haven't seen her since December 26th 2002. A year earlier - December 1st 2001, she rang - just come... No need to say why -and she barely said a word about what happened, wouldn't report it. . .
On Christmas Day 02, she urged me to take a break, she'd cook dinner. We went out - me, my husband, two younger daughters. Our son was away on a gap year. Coming in, the smell of bleach and disinfectant hit us... She'd cooked nothing, taken the kitchen apart., called everything filthy...
We'd seen, already, that her hands were scrubbed raw... You'll never see me again, you destroyed my life, you're evil, evil, evil., all you ever cared about was X - my son, multiple admissions, paediatrician, orthopaedic, opthalmic for years... ( teaches at a UK university now)
She was born at 1.30 a.m. Today, I woke, the exact time, almost choking. (Rational explanation - muscle spasm, anxiety stress.) My eldest girl is from my first (student) marriage, opposed on religious grounds by my parents. My first husband met someone else, she was having his child. He never, ever came to the hospital or paediatrician with me. I had to keep all the medical appointments. Thanks to the medics, he survived -
When I married again my mother (headteacher) warned - a week before the birth, that a girl would damage and distress my eldest. Two more girls... But my eldest had always asked for a baby sister'...
The guilt never leaves... ' You never loved me, all you ever cared about was X' Not true...
Six years ago, we were notified about her wedding - that we'd be banned. All my birth family were invited. Gossip needed one word...
Not true. I always loved her., always will. Pregnant with my son - the eldest, I thought of a daughter...
' Kelkheim.'