Hi I am new here I need a support system I have a husband and friends who help me but it just seems better to talk to someone you do not know. I gave up on my family about 3 months ago with the holiday approaching I feel almost guilty. My family problems happened young around age 7 I would go and live with my great grandparents whom I see as my parents. I was molested by my uncle which my mom later admitted she knew the whole time but did nothing and let me sit on his lap and sleep in the same house with this man. My mom and dad were very poor and I had 4 brothers and sisters it was hard for them to afford me I guess. I felt like why did I have to always be the one to go but my great grand parents were Christians I always went to church they put me in school got me anything I needed the most loving people on earth I admire them so much. About a month ago I lost my great grandfather due to Alzheimer's and I was devastated I miss him so much and when that happened something in my broke. I didn't want my parents or my sister control me anymore. When I was younger and I am the oldest daughter my sister who is much bigger than I am would hit me, push me she broke my wrist and my mom would blame it on the sports I played. She always took up for her I do not understand why my mom does not love me as much as everyone else I can get past that I have been battling this for 7 years now my mom hit me threw me up against the walls put her hands on my face when she was really mad at me. The yelling was an everyday thing and my dad just let it happen to me. I got married in April of this year we went to Jamaica and my mom did not go to my reception which was at my home because she doesn't like my in laws who are really wonderful people. I felt embarrassed because my own mother thought it was okay to miss this day everyone asked me where is your mom so I had to say she was sick when she was just sitting at home playing a computer game. I hate my mom so much and my sister they got into an argument with me because my sister worked for me I own a Senior Home Care and she couldn't work there anymore because my mom said she couldn't not because she was a bad employee or we didn't get along. So I told her she needed to quit and my mom blew up on me and so did my sister I do not understand it, my husband cant wrap his brain around my situation my parents and sister are mentally sick I know they have to be. So they would call me and I would ignore the calls they left voice messages saying my grandfather was looking down on me and shaking his head in shame which really hurt me because if there is anyone in the world I would seek approval from its him and my grandma. I told my mom she was dead to me I had taken the emotional abuse for far to long and I tried to keep my mouth shut I just couldn't I was severely depressed I ached all over I was tired and I have two children I have to be strong for them and my husband they need me so I decided it was time to cut it out detox my life. Since then I have felt wonderful I have energy its great I feel like a new person. I still mourn my grandfathers death and will tackle that someday today I am just not ready to do that. So as the holidays approach I feel guilty for not being at my mother and fathers house but why should I my whole life has been a nightmare and I just woke up from it I am not ready to fall asleep again if anyone has any tips for me I would appreciate it I am 25 years old I do not want to be around my parents or sister ever my children watched as my sister beat me one night and broke my wrist about 2 years ago I wish they never saw that I cannot imagine how traumatic that was for them I am very open and honest with my kids who are 7 and 6 I do not want them to grow up like I did I am so different from the others in my family I am "normal" compared to them I own a house I am married with children I have a wonderful job my husband has a great job my kids are smart and sweet. But my sisters and brother are all following my parents life. My older brother we found out 2 years ago is not my dads so he is my 1/2 brother which he didn't take well and him and I have always got along he understand my situation and the struggles I face so we have no problems my little sister is sweet but stuck in the house with my mom and dad she is 21 and my other sister who is an abuser is 22 with a son who she constantly yells at who has autism "undiagnosed" and my other brother is a criminal in and out of jail who does drugs and steels from us. My life or what used to be my life is extremely miserable and as I sit and look at what I am writing I shouldn't feel guilty because I bet they are not feeling any regrets. I have so much positive in my life now and I will keep it that way I hope. I have my bad days and my good days it's not easy letting everything you know go....... I have talked about this briefly in another discussion board on DS. I get continued support from my husband, brother, family-in-law and friends. I hope I will not relapse and go back to them I would just be sick. I wanted to share my story with you guys maybe this will help someone I know it has helped me to talk about it. Thanks for reading. -Mist