Esophageal Cancer Support Group
Esophageal cancer is malignancy of the esophagus. There are various subtypes. Esophageal tumors usually lead to dysphagia (difficulty swallowing), pain and other symptoms, and is diagnosed with biopsy. Small and localized tumors are treated with surgery, and advanced tumors are treated with chemotherapy, radiotherapy or combinations.
I can not come anywhere close to understand what it feels like to go through the process of having chemo and all that come with that. Having everyone have to do things for you, feeling tired and sick all the time. Loosing all your freedom to do as you will and how you will it.
But at the same time I am having a hard time understanding why my father is turning so mean and ugly with my mom and I. We do all he wants, when he wants and how he wants. My mom is 100 percent only about taking care of her husband. But even with all that our home is slowly becoming somewhere no one wants to be. My father is becoming mean and bitter. I realize this is part of the process and I myself being in the position of being a caretaker I fully understand the emotional and exhausting process of this daily 24/7 task. I will never turn my parents away and I love my father with all my heart.
But I also need to maintain the sanity of my home.
Can anyone please help me with sudjestions of how you have maintained some kind of positive in your lives regardless of the diagnosis.
I do realize that some may think it can be immature and childish, but I hold much graditude to having laughter and smiles in my home. I truly believe being postive can change the attitude of a person regardless.
When I spent everyday with my youngest not knowing if he would live or die for almost 4 years straight my life became so much more than worring and stressing about every little things that came my way. Instead I take all tasks get through them and keep moving forward.
I want to help my father put a smile on his face again. I want to help my mom not feel like shes failing. And I want to make sure I dont loose all that I have worked so hard for.
I am not asking for pitty. I am asking for your exsperiences and helpful words.
Thank you
Shelby
But at the same time I am having a hard time understanding why my father is turning so mean and ugly with my mom and I. We do all he wants, when he wants and how he wants. My mom is 100 percent only about taking care of her husband. But even with all that our home is slowly becoming somewhere no one wants to be. My father is becoming mean and bitter. I realize this is part of the process and I myself being in the position of being a caretaker I fully understand the emotional and exhausting process of this daily 24/7 task. I will never turn my parents away and I love my father with all my heart.
But I also need to maintain the sanity of my home.
Can anyone please help me with sudjestions of how you have maintained some kind of positive in your lives regardless of the diagnosis.
I do realize that some may think it can be immature and childish, but I hold much graditude to having laughter and smiles in my home. I truly believe being postive can change the attitude of a person regardless.
When I spent everyday with my youngest not knowing if he would live or die for almost 4 years straight my life became so much more than worring and stressing about every little things that came my way. Instead I take all tasks get through them and keep moving forward.
I want to help my father put a smile on his face again. I want to help my mom not feel like shes failing. And I want to make sure I dont loose all that I have worked so hard for.
I am not asking for pitty. I am asking for your exsperiences and helpful words.
Thank you
Shelby
And while a patient's sunny attitude is probably the most reassuring one for a caregiver to see, I don't believe it's the best or the most beneficial as far as fighting this disease. Anger is a powerful human emotion and, properly channeled, it can become a source of great strength. I've known a couple of people who've viewed their cancer as a personal foe and beat it by getting angry and vowing never to give in to "it"...also one woman who suffered multiple skull fractures after being assaulted on a train platform and who used her very legitimate anger toward her assailant and a burning desire to survive and see justice served to fuel herself through the recovery process.
Having said that, though, you and your mom need to make it clear to your dad that 'mean" and abusive behavior will not be tolerated. Try to set some limits--leave the room or the house for minutes, hours, or even all day if that's what it takes. You also might encourage your dad to ask his doctor about anti-depressants and support groups--I know people here have derived a lot of help from both.
Blessings and hugs!
My father has anti-depressants and he also is connected with a councilor. But instead of following doctors orders he is insists on doing things his way. Which is not ending up being the best plan as of lately.
I do want him to remain strong and have a fight this disease. Just not us.
And I agree. We should set boundaries.
Thank you again,
shelby
you said
" make it clear to your dad that 'mean" and abusive behavior will not be tolerated. Try to set some limits--leave the room or the house for minutes, hours, or even all day if that's what it takes. You also might encourage your dad to ask his doctor about anti-depressants and support groups " REALLY?? Words truly spoken by someone clueless. God help anyone under your watch that is " Terminally Diagnosed "
Shelby, I know your overwhelmed. Anyone that wasn't self centered would understand that " Terminally Diagnosed is more than a plate full, & emotions & anger are a part of " Terminally Diagnosed " so In layman's terms : the cup runneth over. Anything in addition is overkill & overflow. Setting a bad example as to suggesting " Anti depressants & support groups on a realization that you are fighting for your life has nothing to do with anything else than Love & Support. " Stepping away for " leave the room or the house for minutes, hours, or even all day if that's what it takes. " dhenth, you should be banned from this site. Your detrimental to recovery & love & respect. Shelby, stay heart close to your Dad & oblige any & all instinct regarding support. Your loosing your Dad, anything less will come back to bite in your thought process after the fact. Very simple, step up to the plate & help your Dad ease into his final days. It should be an honor, not a task & ill feeling in a loved one suffering. Mark xx