Oh my gosh...I had to reply to you when I read your post. To begin, I am so incredibly sorry to hear how alone you feel in your struggles. I can only assure you that you are not alone in this daily struggle - i promise you that.
In reading about your anxiety, I'm sure that's making your pain even harder to handle. When anxiety is at its peak, sleep is hard to come by. Lack of sleep makes coping skills fly right out the window...how does one cope with severe and unrelenting pain when coping skills are lost? Please know that I'm not trying to sound like a know it all - I'm just speaking from my own experience.
I have stage 4 endo complicated by chronic UTIs and Crohn's disease. For years I was misdiagnosed and really thought I was losing my mind for a very long time. I'm sure that my family really thought I was absolutely nuts. I kept trying to tell my family and friends that someday they would find what was causing all of this.
I had a bladder resection months ago where they finally found the endo implants/tumors. I am meeting with the urological oncologist tomorrow to get my surgery date - I have a team of 4 surgeons and the surgery will be in February. They will be doing a total hysterectomy, resection of my colon and rectum and a partial bladder removal. This will leave me with colostomy bag, drains and catheters but I'm praying that this will be the beginning of my new life.
What do the doctors say about a plan for you? Are they aware that the pain is bringing you to the end of your rope? Who do you have ton support and love you during this horrible time? Reach out....I know that we don't know each other but please don't surrender...you and your life are too precious. If there's any thing I can do to help - please reach out to me!
Amy xo

I'm with Amy, please don't let endo win. Endo is a horrible disease, and so many people just don't get it. How many times have you heard, "Oh, I have bad periods too." OK sure, but do you wake up at night curled in the fetal position with every muscle from your ribs to your knees flexed and cramping? Do you know what it's like to not be able to have sex anymore because of the pain? Do you question if this disease is going to prevent you from having kids? Are you worried you'll lose your job because of endo fatigue, especially during your period? I could go on, as I know you could too! But things can get better, they really can.

Tell your GYN how you feel, and if he/she doesn't take you serious, see someone else. Talk to a pain management doctor that understands endo (or at least pelvic pain). Talk to a therapist who gets it (look for someone who deals with women's health and fertility if not endo). Keep posting here so we can share your pain with you and we can all bitch about endo, because endo sucks!!

Im hoping to cure myself naturally. I was on birth control back before I was diagnosed and it made my pain so much worse. After trying different medications with no success my dr told me to stay away from them. The lupron we didn't do because of the side effects and after the 6 months it would just come back. My friend ended up telling me about a group called endopositive which is about healing the body through a natural approach. Since then ive been on this journey. Ive been medication free for almost 2 years. I quit my job to work at a natural healthfood store. As for my depression, I feel like Im still in high school, acting all suicidal. Like a child. I cant control myself when my episodes come, usually after something makes me sad or feeling hopeless(could be so small). And then now I feel myself going back to my anorexia ways I just want something to controI. I just started myself on rhodiola and St John wort as a tea instead of my old antidepressant lexapro.
Hopefully soon I can get my hormones balanced and get myself on a nice routine for vitamins and supplements.
Im so grateful to have found this support group. The endopositive group I was in helped a lot with both keeping me on my diet and with talks but I no longer have Facebook and have been feeling so low. So thank you! I hope I get to know some of you

If anything, just know that you're not alone. I have been in severe pain as well with my endo. I have been accused of playing the "victim role" among other things. Unless you have suffered through daily pain from endo, you can't possibly know how much those types of statements can hurt. I have also been feeling so hopeless that I wish I could die. I feel like I have already given up my life anyways because I'm basically always in bed- or wishing I could be. I have two little ones who keep me going, but it's hard to explain to them why mommy is STILL sick and can't play. I have to assume that your pain and mine will end some day. Until it does, even though I'm a random stranger- I'm here for you :) * taking a bath with epsom salt and bubbles while listening to loud music through ear buds gives me moments of peace. Maybe it can help you too- even if it lasts only a few minutes