Endometriosis Support Group

Endometriosis is a common medical condition where the tissue lining the uterus is found outside of the uterus, typically affecting other organs in the pelvis. The condition can lead to serious health problems, primarily pain and infertility. A major symptom of endometriosis is pain, mostly in the lower abdomen, lower back, and pelvic area.

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spoonie139 08/03/2014

So, my endo has been progressing faster than expected and I will be enduring another surgery in just a few short weeks. The dilemma that I am currently facing is that, I've been seeing someone for the past few weeks and I feel like we're heading in a good direction, and in the process of building a serious relationship, and I haven't yet told him about my endometriosis. I've been trying schedule our time together around the times when I feel least shitty but lately I don't get many off those days and it's getting harder to push the fatigue and pain aside. I haven't told him because I'm not sure how to have that conversation in such a new relationship especially when talking about things such as infertility. Not only am i worried, it might scare him away bringing everything up so soon but I also just don't know how to go about it. Any advice??

SpeckledPup 08/03/2014

Hey there...I'm not at all sure that I can advise you, but is he aware that you have an upcoming surgery? It seems that if he knows you're having surgery, he can Google "endometriosis" which will probably scare the crap out of him. So I suppose you need to have the discussion. I'm just not sure how in depth it should be at this stage of your relationship.

HUGS of support, whatever you decide=)

~~Pup

hotchocolate 08/03/2014

I don't really have any advice. I am far from a relationship expert, and haven't actually told a guy about my endo. I had a relationship this past winter. I didn't tell him (we dated for 2 months) and I felt like it wasn't the best choice. I think he could tell I was holding back, and honestly I didn't know how to hold such a big part of my life back from him. I felt like I was being fake sometimes and wasn't being open and honest. I ended up breaking up with him, but if I were to do things over, I would have gone out on a limb and opened up to him and seen how he responded...given him a chance to care.

If you're having surgery, I agree with Pup that honesty is probably best. It would probably freak him out more to wonder or read the internet.

I wish you the best! I know that it's hard! Let us know how things go!

deleted_user 08/04/2014

Hey! If you're having surgery in a few weeks, I think that's a good opener. You don't have to go into every little detail right now, just give him the basics. Tell him you have endo, basically what it is, and that you're having surgery and what to sort-of expect from that.

I think it'll be a good way to find out just how much he wants to form a serious relationship. If he starts asking you questions about it, that's great! He may also be the type who needs to wait awhile before he's ready to discuss it. Either way, just the basics is probably a good place to start.

I don't think you need to go into things like fertility or the really nitty gritty right off the bat. Just start slow. Maybe he'll even be the type who will research it on his own!

Good luck with it!

spoonie139 08/09/2014

Thanks for your advice guys. I brought it up and the conversation went alright. Not sure exactly why but unfortunately things didn't work out in the end, don't really think it had anything to do with endo in particular though. Who knows. Anyways thanks for your advice and support. Much love :)

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