I recently posted a thing on sex positions as I am the same and feel the same as you described here I am actually going to ask my obgyn what he would recommend tomorrow as well because it is hard to make a baby when you are hesitant to have sex, maybe there is a numbing cream or something IDK but it won't hurt to ask, endowife said reverse cowgirl works for her and I find the scissor position takes some of the pain away

please update on if your gyno says anything! and good luck. and yes i remember reading about that post. some positions are better than others (me ontop is okay. him behind me not so much etc) so thats a positive. other than that little glimmer IDK. oh i forgot to write that ive been told by a dr before to take a painkiller before sex. 1. i dont wanna have to plan sex. 2. i tried that, and id have to take something super strong for it to work, and that would make me a zombie. which is a no go :(

I feel ya sister. It's difficult but there are ways to make it more comfortable and enjoyable. I like missionary, but with my legs closed. It feels less intense, like he's not irritating the painful spots. After we do that for a little while I can open my legs a bit (sorry if I'm being graphic). You laying on your back and him on his side may also be more gentle. And yes, taking a pain pill and/or anti-inflammatory a few hours before hand can help, but if you still get side effects from your pain medicine it may dull down your pleasure a bit. Then again, how much pleasure do we really have when it hurts so bad? I guess you need to decide for yourself which is better, or find a good balance.

I completely understand how endo can affect our sex lives. Mine has dwindles down, but I try to compensate with plenty of other things, to keep him satisfied. Thankfully he is very understanding though I know he still gets frustrated sometimes, which is understandable. Communication is incredibly important. Compensating the lack of actual sex with other things can still be satisfying, and still provide intimacy, though of course actual sex is hard to replace. Just make sure you guys are communicating and that he doesn't slowly resent the lack of intimacy, which again is valid and understandable - try hard to do your part by still being physically intimate with him - massages, head rubs, hand jobs, bjs, nice dinners, cuddling.

Also one more thing - make sure you are getting plenty of foreplay before you do have sex. It makes such a big difference. If I'm not aroused before we do it it's a lot more uncomfortable. Even though it's difficult for me to get aroused very often, because when I do get horny the increased blood flow triggers my pain (so wonderful, right?) having foreplay beforehand does help loosen you up. Be conscious of the psychologist aspect of it as well - try to not anticipate the pain, because that will make you tense up and cause more pain.

Sorry if that's really long. I hope somebody gets something useful out if it :-) Stay well.

I was just thinking about this today. I had sex with my fi last night and I am still in pain from it. I just don't know what to do anymore I am almost scared to have sex now it hurts so muh. I try to hide how much it hurts me from him because then he beats himself up about it but.... After last night he loved it and all I wated to do was curl up in a ball and cry myself to sleep. What do I do now! This birth control hormone stuff I'm taking is supposed to help but I feel like its worse than it was before. Sorry for the rant by the way just had to get it out.

Hello I can relate completely. I have had 3 surgeries in 3 years for endo and 24. Before I found out sex would hurt. Till I found a position that doesnt and it's great now. I'd say keep looking for a comfortable position and take Tylenol or pain relief before...yeah it's hard when guys can't completely understand but atleastyour husband is understanding.
Good luck
Danielle

I know exactly how you feel, sometimes it feels fine and other times it feels like someone is stabbing your insides and you just wanna scream (not in a good way. LOL) I try to explain to my hubby that certain ways hurt more than others and not to be rough, that seems to help. He knows things that help because we have talked. I know that there will always be pain but if you can give your husband ideas on what to try so that it doesnt hurt or help him understand what does hurt you and why, it helps so much. I know that me on top hurts way worse than any other position..it hurts so bad sometimes I feel like crying (that use to be my fav positon) and now I hate it. I hope this helps a little.

I have the same problem! And FYI 12 Mg of morphine helps a lot!!! Lol but who has access to that?! I only did from er visit and figured better try it now! Who knows when next time will be!

My husband is very understanding. Actually gets mad if I don't tell him if it hurts me and try to hide it. But I continue to do so because otherwise it would NEVER happen. And I am fearful it will ruin us! It was the root cause of the breakup with my sons dad. My husband is completely different than him and MUCH MORE understanding. But I guess I'm still very insecure about it.

I have an appt tomorrow and will ask also.

i guess its something i have to quit being kinda of hesitant about. i miss when spontaneous sex was just spontaneous sex...fun! not pain and anxiety.
its just good to know that I'm not the only one thats emotionally bothered by it too. i guess i just have to do all that i can do to make me more comfortable. much love and thanks y'all. &i expect reports back from the ladies who are seeing their doctors :P

Asked my doc and he brushed it of. His face was saying "please that's the least of your problems"! Basically told that when my endo is fixed it will be better. DUH!!

BUT my docs are idiots! Wish I could choose my docs. I am supposed to be going to a pain specialist but that may not be for months. But I will ask them.

Don't give up on asking just because of what my doc said. There has to be help out there.

I know how you feel, I have to put a pillow on my face so my husband doesn't see how much pain I'm in. It really sucks.

something I read in cosmo- sometimes it hurts b/c guys learn from porn and think the jackhammer pounding style is what really makes women happy. I gently suggested that my husband go super slow in traditional missionary, except he'd get down low like he was hugging me while we did it. Not to get too graphic, but guys need ego strokes- I encouraged him to do this by saying I wanted to feel every inch of him, so I wanted him to bring it in and out slowly. It was different for him, but it resulted in us both having powerful orgasms- just be sure to use lots of lube first. I found astroglide is the least irritating to me.