Endometriosis Support Group
Endometriosis is a common medical condition where the tissue lining the uterus is found outside of the uterus, typically affecting other organs in the pelvis. The condition can lead to serious health problems, primarily pain and infertility. A major symptom of endometriosis is pain, mostly in the lower abdomen, lower back, and pelvic area.
I guess I'm frustrated because I feel that every single part of me that makes me a woman is damaged. When I was 16, I found a lump in my boob, and had to have a lumpectomy (luckily it wasn't cancer, but it was humiliating when people found out regardless). I still suffer to this day with cysts. Awful. And they hurt like hell. And I can't wear a bra because theyre huge and bras cause shoulder and back pain (also when I stopped wearing a bra as much, the cysts were 40% better so I don't know maybe its not such a bad thing?)
Then fast forward to when I had sex without thinking about it, all of a sudden, it just started to hurt. Hello vulvodynia! Luckily here, I was able to get a vestibulectomy and am able to be almost as good as new. But it took 7 or so years. And the hell to get to the vestibulectomy wasn't too much fun either.
Than, starting from the point when I got my period, I always had impossibly annoying, painful, and heavy periods. Turns out, I have endometriosis. The pain is excruciating. I hate having my period. In fact, I dread it. Every second of it. It is miserable. I have to be on birth control, and I can't use tampons due to the pain.
I just feel damaged like every part of me that defines me as a woman is fucked up somehow. Everyone keeps telling me not to get depressed, but I can't help it, I am. I'm just waiting for IC to happen or something else, one more way to feel even less like a person. I just want ONE day where I don't hurt, where people aren't like you complain all the time (I'm pretty sure if someone healthy had ONE of these problems for an hour they'd be pretty pissed too). I'm sick of living like this. I hurt, I'm tired and I just want to go to bed. Does anyone else ever feel like what the fuck did I do to deserve this? In my opinion, being a woman is terrible I hate it. Everything to do with it. I just want to feel like someone normal. Sorry, I needed to vent..
Then fast forward to when I had sex without thinking about it, all of a sudden, it just started to hurt. Hello vulvodynia! Luckily here, I was able to get a vestibulectomy and am able to be almost as good as new. But it took 7 or so years. And the hell to get to the vestibulectomy wasn't too much fun either.
Than, starting from the point when I got my period, I always had impossibly annoying, painful, and heavy periods. Turns out, I have endometriosis. The pain is excruciating. I hate having my period. In fact, I dread it. Every second of it. It is miserable. I have to be on birth control, and I can't use tampons due to the pain.
I just feel damaged like every part of me that defines me as a woman is fucked up somehow. Everyone keeps telling me not to get depressed, but I can't help it, I am. I'm just waiting for IC to happen or something else, one more way to feel even less like a person. I just want ONE day where I don't hurt, where people aren't like you complain all the time (I'm pretty sure if someone healthy had ONE of these problems for an hour they'd be pretty pissed too). I'm sick of living like this. I hurt, I'm tired and I just want to go to bed. Does anyone else ever feel like what the fuck did I do to deserve this? In my opinion, being a woman is terrible I hate it. Everything to do with it. I just want to feel like someone normal. Sorry, I needed to vent..
It took me almost 20 years to even put how I feel into words. I probably still wouldn't if I didn't have anonymity. I wasn't always 52. I was a young woman like you when diagnosed. I was SO frightened and SO ashamed (why do we feel ashamed?) that I just retreated into the darkness. Now I'm crying like a baby, because it's still SO RAW and emotional. I was giggling 5 minutes ago at your moxy...Yea I'm "fucked up" too.
I hate clichs, but I KNOW this much is true..."A merry heart doeth good like a medicine". Again, I'm sorry you're suffering. The anger is normal. But we have to laugh at ourselves sometimes to survive. I say this in the best f spirits....YOU GO GIRL=) You have the "balls" to beat this.
~~Pup
Life has dealt us a bad hand, but I do think we're stronger than most other people because of it. We've learned how to put on that "brave" face and a happy go-lucky smile even when all we want to do is cry.
My friend would get cysts in her pelvic region, once she started going commando she hasn't had much issues with the cysts, so it makes perfect sense that not wearing a bra makes you feel better. I also don't wear a bra because of the nasty pent-up gas. Bras just make it worse. Since it makes you more comfortable, then why the h*ll not wear a bra? :) I've been trying to rally women together to burn bras ;)
Keep strong girl and know that you have an entire community of women to support you and know what you're going through!
"Dudes" definitely have it easy=)
~~Pup