I went through the same thing...I'm not sure what to tell you other then maybe figure out ways he can show affection that aren't painful? Even hugs used to hurt me so our compromise was we would hold hands or I would try and find a comfy position on his chest or lap and he would rub wherever i needed rubbing lol or just played with my hair or something lol.

Yes! Wow, thank you for posting this. I really thougth that it was just my boyfriend that thought that way. I thought he was no longer attracted to me and I was really hurt by it. I asked him why he was so distant and he said that he didn't want to hurt me. After him telling me this I felt much better. It is true sometimes I hurt but he doesn't realize that I refuse to stop doing anything in my life because of my condition. That includes him!

Thanks girls I really thought that I was alone in this or it was all in my head......I just wish I could get him to understand like you that I don't want to stop everything.....Gotta live may be painful but I am not going to stop living

Oh my word! I am so happy you said this. I had this exact conversation with my boyfriend LAST NIGHT! He is so concerned and thinks he's helping by keeping distance but truly that "hurts" too. Vegas said it perfect... I worried if he had lost his attraction to me. I am soooo glad it's not just me and not just my boyfried. Endo SUCKS!

We had this, too. I had to go get some nice undergarments and start things up and ease back into it.

I have to say, though, it is nice that we have sweet men in our lives who are thinking of us and don't want to cause us any pain. There are lots of guys who just think of themselves and want to get off no matter what. We are pretty lucky!

I think this is a common thing with sensitive men who love you. My husband used to always snuggle in bed with me etc and it stopped for years after my surgeries...I finally realized he was trying to not hurt me because many nights I am in pain while in bed and if he leans on me the wrong way etc. I feel worse. I try to tell him when I need to be touched (just simply saying it) and we always try some way of touching during the day...he will smack my butt lightly and knows this won't hurt normally...and it makes me feel loved. Silly, I know, but it does feel awful to be in pain AND not touched, I know.

Oh we had the same problem for a while there... I think all of us that have a partner who is caring struggles with this at some stage. For us, we argued many, many times about it. My husband has always been worried about sex (it is always going to hurt... but it does not mean I do not enjoy it!) and worried about me feeling pressured. He is also scared of causing the cramps to flair up. What got it through one night is when I broke down crying, and told him two things: 1 - that I do not want this disease, which has already taken so much from us, to rule my life. I refuse to let it take the pleasure out of our relationship! And 2 - that by pulling away, he is hurting me more!! Emotionally, and mentally. Emotionally becuase I feel hurt that he does not want to hold me, and mentally because it is infuriating that he thinks I would say it is ok with me if it is not. I explained to him that if he does not want to have sex, that is fine. But if he is in the mood, and I say it is ok, then he has no right to tell me we shouldn't because of the pain it could cause me. That is MY decision, not his. I would not presume to tell him that we shouldn't because he worked all day and will be sore, for example. So for me, I feel very betrayed that he could not just trust me if I told him it is what I wanted. We are always in pain when we live with endo, and we cannot control that. What we can control is the level of comfort we have, and part of that comfort is our men! If having him there makes you feel better, more relaxed, loved and cared for, then let him know. I can understand our men not wanting to add to our endo pain, but they do have to stop trying to control a disease that only God has any control over, and just to support us the way we need them to. That means being physical too, it means maintaining a certain amount of normality in our relationships. I hope he can see where you are coming from. Do not be afraid to tell him how much you need this and crave this. He will feel better if he realises it DOES help you, as he only wants to make things easier for you. Sometimes, the things that make it easier to cope with emotionally are the things that cause a little physical pain. Also, have you taken him to any of your appointments? I took my man to one, and it was enough to help him see that endo is not something we can change, just something we work around and enjoy the good days even more! He may learn to appreciate the contact more if he learns more about the endo xx