Endometriosis Support Group

Endometriosis is a common medical condition where the tissue lining the uterus is found outside of the uterus, typically affecting other organs in the pelvis. The condition can lead to serious health problems, primarily pain and infertility. A major symptom of endometriosis is pain, mostly in the lower abdomen, lower back, and pelvic area.

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/ Endometriosis Support Group

Endometriosis as a Husband

starlord0323
starlord0323

Hello everyone. I just joined because my wife and I (26/25yo respectively) have just met with a specialist to try and deal with her endometriosis. We want to get pregnant, but the challenges facing us are heavy. She has had a laproscopy, was on Lupron Depot for 1yr 3months, and even though we have not been trying for a long time to get pregnant, it is seeming like an impossibility. The doctor mentioned IVF as a potential option, but the cost for that is far higher than what we could ever afford at this stage in our life.


I am writing because I need help as a husband. She has dealt with this for a number of years now. Sex has always pretty much been off the table because of the pain associated. I am trying to stay strong for her, but when I am by myself I find myself breaking down. I am concerned with possible finances, because I want to do whatever it takes to get her out of pain. I am upset at the idea of not being able to have a baby of our own. Worst of all, I hate that there is nothing much I can do to help her pain, except offer things like general pain meds (advil, etc.) or heating/ice packs, or just finding ways to try and keep her mind off of everything.


To cap it all off, she wants to continue trying to get pregnant the traditional way, but I am struggling with continuing to try knowing how much pain I am putting her in. 


If anyone can offer words of wisdom, they would be greatly appreciated and not fall on deaf ears. I am struggling to keep myself together, and I want to be strong in her presence so that I am able to do whatever is necessary to help her.

xojp13
xojp13
I just want you to know that as I began to read this, I wondered if my own husband was writing this. We are 26/25 year olds as well and have been dealing with similar issues lately. I am so scared that I am seeing my own future in your post. I am going for laparoscopy #2 soon, and plan to go on depo-lupron for 6mo and then start trying to get pregnant. We weren't necessarily planning on trying this early in our lives, but faced with the concern of now or never, I think this is our best option. My husband offers to get advil, heating pad, turn the fan on -whatever I need. But I can see that he is frustrated and upset that there isn't more that he can do. He always says everything "will be fine", which is not helpful because it might not be fine. We might never be able to get pregnant on our own and that would devastate us both. The biggest thing you can do is acknowledge that her fears are real and waranted but that you will be with her through all of it regardless of the struggle. I know deep down that he would never be unfaithful or leave because we couldn't have a child together- but you hear and see it happening to others and its terrifying. There isn't any greater thing you can do other than to stay true to her and support her needs. Good luck to you and your wife- try to stay positive and full of hope.
LawyerGrace
LawyerGrace
First of all, it is great that you are here looking for help!!
Second, I suggest getting your fertility assessed - a good screening looks at your sperm, your wife's tubes (are they open or blocked), follicles (are the they, is the timing right, etc) and hormone levels, not just LH and FSH but Vit D, thyroid, etc. That way you can make an assessment with facts!
My husband and I can't have sex due to my pelvic pain, turns out I also have one blocked tube. When we want to try for a baby, the doctor will wait until I have a follicle on the unblocked tube aide and then time the IUI (interuterine injection of sperm).
There are a lot of options before IVF, if that's the first place tour doctor went, get a second opinion!
Charlotte12345
Charlotte12345
My friend, Melissa, just had the same condition as your wife. But fortunately, she is pregnant now after taking a herbal medicine called Fuyan Pill as she said.

She had endometriosis for 4 years and had menses last for 8 - 10 days which was heavy. Pain in the lower abdomen and lower back bothered her and usually aggravated when she goes outside in cold.

Later, she found Dr. Lee’s TCM Clinic online. Everything went amazingly well with the medication as she had hoped. The pain dulled in the first week since she had started the pills.

She is now progressing the last fourth course of medication as Dr. Lee has recommended. No more pain, no more heavy and long menses bothers her and she is pregnant. Hope this will help you and your wife.
starlord0323
starlord0323
@charlotte12345 Thank you for your words! We were actually able to get pregnant naturally in 2017 and have a healthy 18 month old now. We were told that having a baby naturally would rid her of the endometriosis, however things progressed and she wound up needing a C-section. We are back to where we started, but with more hope and knowledge this time.
Charlotte12345
Charlotte12345
@starlord0323 I'm glad to hear that you have a baby now. Pregnancy can indeed play a role in relieving or alleviating the condition of endometriosis. If your wife still has some pain symptoms, you can visit their website and consult for more information about endometriosis.