Endometriosis Support Group
Endometriosis is a common medical condition where the tissue lining the uterus is found outside of the uterus, typically affecting other organs in the pelvis. The condition can lead to serious health problems, primarily pain and infertility. A major symptom of endometriosis is pain, mostly in the lower abdomen, lower back, and pelvic area.
GER... so I don't know if this relates to anyone else, but this topic bothers me so much. I was in the doctor begging for a hysterectomy the other day, and (I know she means well) the nurse told me that was completely ridiculous because "I'll change my mind". I HATE THAT. I have zero like for kids, I don't want to get pregnant (aside from the changes of my body no one can predict the hormones and vulovdynia issue- some people are better others are worse who's to say I'll get lucky?), and why can I not make a decision based on what I know? My doctor did however, tell me that he would perform the hysterectomy if my laparoscopy didn't work, since even he agrees that will probably help the most- but he doesn't want to take a perfectly good organ out for no reason- which OK I get that.
Than I was out with my boyfriends mom last night for dinner (who I really like there's nothing bad against her, but it got me thinking). Her daughter also has endo, which we talk a lot about it, but even his mom was like "once you get pregnant, you'll feel better". Fantastic, but I do NOT want kids. Like what in the hell? Why can't I make this decision for MYSELF rather than what other people want for me? And I also hate those people who are like "Oh, you'll change your mind!" Really? You know this? You know what I feel everyday, and that I can sometimes barely get out of bed. And women who are pregnant and healthy also have problems. So please tell me WHY I would get pregnant when I don't want to. And please tell me how come everyone else knows what's best for me? Why does everyone view me as a baby maker? I'm a person, a human being who may not want to go with the norm, but to live a life, work a career and get married (without getting pregnant thank you very much). I also found this article that I totally agree with, if you want take a look, I feel exactly like this. And, where it mentions abortion, that is not what I'm saying at all. I just don't want to get pregnant, period.
I should add I'm 28 too just to give the whole picture. I also asked my dogs vet to do a two for one spay when I was 14. He of course denied it "because I might want kids later". AHHHH!!!!!
http://abortiongang.org/2010/04/a-womans-duty-breed/
Than I was out with my boyfriends mom last night for dinner (who I really like there's nothing bad against her, but it got me thinking). Her daughter also has endo, which we talk a lot about it, but even his mom was like "once you get pregnant, you'll feel better". Fantastic, but I do NOT want kids. Like what in the hell? Why can't I make this decision for MYSELF rather than what other people want for me? And I also hate those people who are like "Oh, you'll change your mind!" Really? You know this? You know what I feel everyday, and that I can sometimes barely get out of bed. And women who are pregnant and healthy also have problems. So please tell me WHY I would get pregnant when I don't want to. And please tell me how come everyone else knows what's best for me? Why does everyone view me as a baby maker? I'm a person, a human being who may not want to go with the norm, but to live a life, work a career and get married (without getting pregnant thank you very much). I also found this article that I totally agree with, if you want take a look, I feel exactly like this. And, where it mentions abortion, that is not what I'm saying at all. I just don't want to get pregnant, period.
I should add I'm 28 too just to give the whole picture. I also asked my dogs vet to do a two for one spay when I was 14. He of course denied it "because I might want kids later". AHHHH!!!!!
http://abortiongang.org/2010/04/a-womans-duty-breed/
Still, the assumption that young women who don't want kids don't know what they're talking about and are inevitably going to change their minds when they turn 30 is damaging. There definitely are women who get baby-mad in their 30s, but I think those are probably women who go from a "probably someday" state like mine, not ones who have said "absolutely not me" since their teens.
And pregnancy does sometimes help endometriosis symptoms, but it's not a cure--my gynecologist, who does a lot of IVF and infertility stuff, has said it as "women with endometriosis tend to feel pretty good while pregnant."
Of course (and this is the one thing I don't like about her, she may be the best doctor for me I've ever had in any specialty) she's also given me multiple lectures about "not waiting too long if I do want to have kids," and about how she had her chidlren while she was still in grad school and I could too!
I have PCOS and endo, I have sciatica, and a disability (which sciatica caused the disability), do I really want to get pregnant and chance something happening to not just me but a potential baby? I fall a lot, and when my sciatica really kicks up...my leg goes paralyzed. Plus, and this may sound selfish, but I've lost 30 lbs this year, it was damn hard to take off, and I don't want to put it back on by getting pregnant.
And, I worked at a daycare when I was 18 yrs old. That was the best birth control ever! I decided then that I don't want children. I like other people's kids...when they misbehave, I can send them back to their parents.
What gets me..ok I'm kind of on my soap box now...when I was 27 yrs old, a gyn told me that since my period was so out of control, I would have 3 different types of reproductive cancer in 5 years. I said ok, let's take everything out so I don't have that possibility. She replied, "You're too young and may want kids". I told her that I don't want kids and I certainly don't want cancer, take everything out. "Oh you'll change your mind". So having kids is more important than preventing cancer?! I think my priorities where spot on.
Long story short.... people cannot help but comment on procreation. when you should start, when you should stop, etc. IGNORE. having a kid to get relief from your pain REALLY is ridiculous. I mean, if you do decide to have a hysterectomy, use "i can adopt if i change my mind." as your standard answer. I think if someone pushed me, i'd just get ugly and tell them "i don't want to discuss this, it's my decision. not yours. please do not bring it up again" and change the subject. i mean really. Some people feel as if they can interject their opinion wherever they want! and sometimes it takes being rude to get them to keep their trap shut.
As an aside, I think it's great that your doctor is looking out for you here and i myself like the "less is more" approach. If my lap doesn't "work" for a sustained amount of time, i will seriously consider hysterectomy but i feel like it's the last ditch effort. HRT scares me! lol!
I think doctors are still in the mind-set of the early 20th century and any time prior to that, where the woman's duty was to have as many children as possible, because "that's what they want". It's our "duty". Therefore, they feel that every woman wants children. My gp knows I don't want kids so she's all for me having a permanent solution. Whether it be hyster or ablation with a tubal. I told her that I understand it won't cure the endo and that there is a possibility that it may come back, but that the way I'm living now sucks. Since I have my period...still, but it got worse after the Mirena was removed, I look like freakin Quasimodo walking around. I'm all hunched over in pain, can't stand up straight.
Does his Mom realize that he's sterile? She expect some miracle to happen or something? You know what you want and what you don't want. Why can't people just leave it alone at that. I agree with SayYesToCarbs, people feel like they can force their opinion on us. Perhaps they feel that they can change our mind or something. Well I'm sorry, the last time I checked they weren't my Jiminy Cricket acting as my conscience. I'm an adult, let me make decisions about my own body, and what I do or don't want.
Let me list my FAAAVORITE pregnancy symptoms! Getting sick at just the thought of food. I couldn't even go to the grocery store. My favorite memory of that time was running out of the grocery store at 10wks preg and nearly throwing up by my car. Memorable let me tell you. Oh! And the nausea meds, so great. But oh yeah, they're constipating. The iron pills are too. Yeah, that time I had to give myself an enema was just lovely. And postpartum is SO fun! You have these awesome hormone surges that cause you to cry at everything, you're leaking everywhere, boobs, crotch and sweating at any mild exertion. Again, thank you fabulous hormones! Then there was that time I was nursing my son at a store and he had a blowout. All over him. And me. He had extra clothes, I did not. Oh, and I ran out of wipes cleaning him up. Yayness! I smelled like breast milk and vomit for a year after each kid. Which is even stronger smelling to you because of that super power sense of smell. Thanks again hormones!!!!! And the lack of sleep? My son woke every 2-3hrs until he was over a year old. Yeah, character building stuff there. Who wouldn't want to experience those things?!
I hope that made you laugh ;) in all seriousness, it really isn't all that bad. But it's not for everyone. I think when people don't fit into this mold of mom, dad, baby, etc, they don't know what to say! My little brother is a lot like you. He's known since he was a teen that he did not want children. He's 27 and wants a vasectomy. When he got married, no kids was the deal. He's solid in his decision. Not everybody gets it!