Empty Nests Support Group

Empty nest syndrome is a general feeling of depression and loneliness that parents/other guardian relatives feel when one or more of their children leave home. Empty nest syndrome has become more prevalent in modern times, as the extended family is becoming less common than in past generations, and the elderly are left living by themselves.

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Understanding Empty Nest

Impylaurie
Impylaurie
I am 64 yrs old have a 43 yr old son and a 28 yrs old daughter. I have two granddaughters 16 yrs old and 13 yrs old. I have a husband who is 69 yr old and a cat who is 17 yrs old. I have never had empty nest feelings when my son got married and my daughter moved out a year ago. My children live within an hour of me. I see my granddaughters and go to their soccer games. I had a falling out with my son the beginning of this year after my 94 yr old dad passed away. I feel we all reach that empty nest at different ages. This year at 64 I have hit that mark even though my kids are so grown. I am on disability for a back and sciatica issues. I always though how great it would be to not work and to walk in the mornings or go to the gym. They said be careful for what you wish. I have so much time in the day that I now look at the time that has passed and have a sense of empty nest. Empty nest is trying to find what you want to do with YOUR life. We are so busy in everybody's life that when we have to pick up the mirror and not the magnifying glass it can be scary. Our children will always be there they are living their life and finally are on their own just what we wanted them to be. Now it is about how we can live a happy and productive life as we are suppose to being doing.
edana
edana
yes it is definitely harder when you have a lot of free time on your hands - my life was so full of concerns for my son before - whereas now there's nothing for me to revolve around. I think we have entered the next stage in life though. They are beginning their lives - we are winding down to the end of ours. I used to think I needed to pick up where I'd left off before motherhood - find myself again - but really I think we need to reinvent ourselves into something entirely new now. It's difficult and takes time, and we need to give ourselves time and be gentle with ourselves - allow ourselves to feel sad or to cry and grieve what's over forever.

One thing I have noticed is that I enjoy the things I used to enjoy as a small child again. It's as if we were too young to be engaged as mothers then, and now we are too old to be engaged as mothers - so we found something else to do with our time, and because we have this core to our being which never changes, we find our childhood hobbies satisfying once more. Or maybe that's just me?
Booky63
Booky63
Both of my children have left home, although my daughter comes home back periodically whilst she's at university in St Andrews. For all intents and purposes it's just me and my husband home alone. Having given them my support and attention for the last 25 and 21 years, having them leave home has given me my own time which I didn't have when they were home full time. I believe when our children leave home, our lives move into another dimension. Although it's initially hard and the house is quiet, finding something that you're interested in will give you a new lease of life. When our lives constantly revolve around our children it feels wrong and very strange when they've gone; but that's our time to reinvent who we are. It does get easier. It's an important transition for all of us.
spfetzer
spfetzer
I too am experiencing empty nest, the marriage of my two sons in the last two years, the loss of my husband and retiring has brought on much sadness and inability to be motivated in life.
CopingNow
CopingNow
Love the imagery of the mirror and the magnifying glass. I think there is wisdom from everyone here. Like the idea of re-inventingredients ourselves. I have found parenting adults more difficult than I anticipated. I sincerely hope that you are kind do yourself in the process and feel purpose and hope in something!
mamalovesyou
mamalovesyou
My problem is that and I know it is one that a lot of people would like to have is that my adult children (20,21, and 23) are so much fun and so sweet that I rather be with them than most other people. My mother was my best friend and I adored her, but she has passed away. I have one fun-loving cousin, but she lives far away and my best friend does too. So many people where I live are really negative and gossipy. I am happiest when I am helping others so I love to volunteer and I love nature. Like you said, my childhood self is still there and I hope I can have grandchildren to pass that on to.