I'm another single mom with 2 out and 1 left. I think it is harder for singles and some married parents who don't have supportive spouses. I have made my whole life around my children and work full time without having had time to find an other spouse. No one to lean on and feeling lonely and left out. It's hard to start a new life and build new friendships. My kids were everything and being a parent was exhausting but so fulfilling.

I understand. Its really tough. I'm forcing myself to get out daily. Today I rock climbed and also scored a dream gig but I've been crying for about 3 hours, so I'm here. People who know me have no idea how much pain I'm in. But I'm going to keep charging forward because I feel like maybe one day, things will feel better. They have to because this level of grief is not sustainable.

On top of this all of this change, I'm withdrawing from an SSRI. Some of the intense grief may stem from that as well so I hope your experience is easier. How did you do when your other 2 children left? I certainly struggled.

I think we have to remind ourselves that this distance doesn't have to be forever, even though it really feels that way. This physical distance will never ever change the fact that we're Mommys. We just have to figure out the way to navigate these unfamiliar waters and remember to keep ourselves healthy in the process.

Feel free to lean on me here. I may be here a while. Best wishes to you.

All of the above for me as well. We also moved somewhere where I don't know anyone. I went to a depression support group last night at the local Christian church, so I did meet a few people. I am so sad all of the time. I also worry about the kids constantly. I wish I would have been warned about the empty nest syndrome. I always thought I would breeze right through it. My thoughts were since I had kids young, I will still be young enough to see the world. In reality all I do is cry and want to crawl under my blankets and never get up. I don't know what a warning would have helped me with, other than just being prepared a little better. I miss my kids!

The last of my 3 children will be leaving in about 6 weeks and I'm dreading it. I'm very positive in front of my children, tell them I'm going to turn his room into a nice guest room and invite people over to stay, but inside I feel so lost and I've no idea how I'm going to cope when the time comes. My children are nearby and are great at keeping in touch, but I haven't lived on my own for over 35 years and I don't know if I can do it again - so difficult!

That is scary aneland. Try to surround yourself with people. I've been volunteering so that's been helpful. I find that any kind of human connection that I make helps ease the feeling of aloneness, even if only for a brief period of time.

I had to go back on my medication about 5 days ago. This transition and the withdrawals combined were just too much. Fortunately, I'm not crying as much. I still feel the emptiness but its not as dire. This is a learning process.

How courageous of you. I'm not so sure I could move like that although the night she left I closed the door to her room and really didn’t want to go back in there. But as I stood at the kitchen window today memories came flooding back to me so the entire house is full of memories form the years we have lived here. So tonight I went into her room to watch TV (only one in house) and it was okay but I was distracted by shows I was watching. I want more time too; that thought has been running through my head ever since she told me she was leaving. I changed my life to spend nearly every moment with her, even taking a week off of work right before she left. I too am confused about who I am – but I’ve been feeling that for a few years now personally – needing to regroup, figure out what path I need to take next for work, living (was thinking of moving), and relationships (so real soulmate girlfriend and no mate at all after dad died). I’ve found myself minimalizing my parenting, remembering all the horrid mistakes I’ve made, replaying the horrible words I spoke to her when I freaked out about this trip, and just beating myself up. The things you mentioned monitoring really set off a panic button in me; my daughter was awful about remembering her medicines, remembering to do important timely tasks, remembering to eat, speaking up for herself, and so much more.

I am also a single mom - okay was a single mom from when my daughter was 6.5 years old and she will be 22 this December. She left four days ago for a supposedly 3 month trip to be with a boy she's only known for 2 months that friends have told me horrid things about - drugs, treating girlfriends badly, horrible hygiene, lazy, smooches off of anyone he can and then leaves town after angering these people, hasn't had a job since he left high school. When she first told me of this plan I freaked out and behaved in ways that are not like me - I ranted and raved, I became angry at her, I felt like she was the enemy, every imaginable fear of horrid things happening to her sprang from my mouth, I threatened her with disowning her ( I took it back), and more. I've since apologized for these behaviors and began supporting her "dream" and financed part of it. Well, my heart feels like it is being ripped right out of my body. If I'm not distracted I cannot eat; there is a lump in my throat that makes swallowing difficult. I've begun eating with others when I do eat because my appetite is gone. At times I cannot stand being in this house one more second and I go run errands, visit people, or just drive for hours. As illogical as it sounds I’m scared to lie down to sleep; I put it off until I’m falling sleep sitting up. I sob and shake; the tears some in waves not all the time. I can visualize good things coming from this but I don’t feel good right now. I’ve been through the grieving process of my father nearly 9 years ago so I realize I’m grieving. I just needed to vent as well. Reach out to someone who really knows what it is that I am feeling right now. I was writing earlier about how I’d journal about the deep quiet and heavy loneliness I’d experience when my daughter would go to my parent’s for a few nights or the first few times she went to camp in summer. That same feeling has returned. And this isn’t like a child going off to college. Although she says she’s coming home to go to school in 3 months a part of me doesn’t believe that she will; I think this boy will talk her into either an extended stay or something else. At this point I cannot really deal with the future. I just want this constant lump in my throat and aching in my chest to stop.

I relate entirely to your post! My son is a sophomore in college and I am still not used to him being away. I hope it gets easier.

Oh, I feel for you. I'm going to be in the same situation in a couple of years and are dreading it already. To your credit, I think leaving to find a new life in a new hone in a new city is wonderful. Like you, the memories of being in the old house with the kids no longer there would be tough.

I think the best thing to consider though is that since you were such a great mom, you do continue to worry. So many kids grow up these days with parents who could care less about them. So your kids were, and still are blessed, to have a mom who cares about them so much. As young adults, they may not say how important that is for them, but it certainly does mean a lot to them deep in their hearts. Congrats on raising two great kids...and know that you have prepared them well for what lays ahead of them.

Thank you all for the kind replies. It's been a long time since I've posted. I'm wondering how everyone is feeling? Me? The grief is still there. The tears still flow. The feelings that my life is over still intrude and I'm doing a terrible job finding happiness. As fatalistic as that sounds, I do have hope. All of these feeling are less frequent as time goes by. Just a little, Fortunately I begin a new career next week. It took me this long to find a real job in the small town where I live. I envision that this new career will give me a sense purpose again. It will be interesting to see how my state of mind changes after working and feeling needed again. Anyway, I hope you are all progressing towards happiness as you learn to embrace your new normal. Thanks again for the kindness.

Geeze, I feel like crying now after reading these posts! My oldest left for college 1.5 years ago, - and I felt a huge hole in my heart. Real emptiness. His younger brother was still here, but I still felt the pain. Then, after a few months, I realized the pain starting to dissipate. He would come back home every 6 or so weeks, and that was so wonderful. It was tough when he'd go back to school after the break or weekend, but even those transitions got easier. His younger brother started to really mature and I saw that the distance had helped shape their relationship into something better. Now my youngest is about to chose his college and in the fall I will really be an emptynester. I'm sure I'll feel that same hole in my heart and pray that I'll adapt.

One good thing that came out of anticipating my empty-nest syndrome a few years back is that the reality that soon I'd be spending the rest of my life, without kids, with my %#$%@ husband prompted me to end the marriage. Best decision of my life. Sometimes change that hurts (kids moving out and on) can benefit us the most (changes we need to make for our own benefit).

It all is a new normal and we are all strong enough to adapt and grow :)