Dear Lori726,
I understand where you are coming from. I've been an empty nester for many years now and I'm sorry to say it has not gotten much easier. After the end of a 12 year marriage I was a single mom for many years. Day to day you will find a new normal. This takes time. For me, however, it's the holidays - Christmas, Thanksgiving, their birthdays, my birthday - that I find most difficult. I did devote myself to my daughters 100%. I do understand roots and wings; I feel I've given them both. But still it's very, very painful the emptiness and abandonment I feel esp. around holidays. My second husband does not help as he does not understand at all. I also work but my coworkers are all younger as well. I'm sorry if this is not helpful but please know you are not alone with how you feel.

I just joined today.. I am sorry I don't know what to say that can help you right now.
but take a little time to be sad... if you don't let it out it's going to come out a the wrong time... get your favorite cry movie and a big box of tissue and let it go!!!!
That is what I did last night!!! I feel much better but I don't look real good today my eyes are puffy and I nose if stuffy and red..but I do feel better...

Yes, most of us that are here are here because its still not that easy. Actually its just been 6 months since my daughter moved out. My son is a senior in college and he just returned to college today from the holidays. My daughter is the youngest and moved out to live with her boyfriend so it wasn't the most pleasant situation.

Ilove what Teraymemo said it really did make me LOL.

Most men just don't get it. You did have some recent major losses too. So like others have said allow yourself a little time to be sad. Just try not to spend all your time thinking about the empty nest and insteady try to think about how to fill your time. Its so not easy, I know.

I made a job change so my husband and I could pursue my dream of becoming a travel nurse. We did want assignment and I realized that I would rather be home in my own house with my own home comforts without my daughter than moving about and essentially changing jobs every 3 months. It sounded great at the time. Was awesome money but for 3 months I didn't see my kids at all, we were just way to far away. We spent Thanksgiving alone with no real Thanksgiving meal.

I have been back home for about 5 weeks now so I am settling back in, trying to figure out what's next. What's important, how do I spend my time. I learned alot about myself while we were gone . But now the reality has returned that I don't have enough to fill my time productively. I don't have a permanent full time position but am working a fill in job with decent pay.

I have a friend in a similar situation so talking with her helps. But her daughter is the same age as my son but her daughter has lived off campus the last two years so she doesn't have her daughter in the summer and the whole Christmas break. So Itry to count myself lucky.

I also left this reply for Tearymemo, but know that my heart goes out to you :( I am a single mom and was devastated when both of my kids moved out of state - my son to a college many states away and my daughter one state away. I didn't think I could survive, as we were so very close and being a single mom, they were my life. One thing that helped me was to re-do all of the bedrooms - mine and theirs. Didn't have to be an expensive make-over, just something that made them all look different (I did paint and re-arranging). Now, when I walk past their rooms and into mine, I'm not overwhelmed by memories and the realization that they are gone. It feels like a possibly ok new chapter in my life instead of intense sadness. I will tell you that time really does heal wounds, as I didn't think I could survive - but I have, for 4 months now and no longer so desperately sad. Keep telling yourself that it is ok for you to be your own person again - I think we forget that in while immersed in motherhood. My daughter told me gently that I need to figure out again who I am, as I was a person before I had kids...though I don't really remember back that far! And know that you're not alone or crazy for being sad...you're just a normal mom. I hope your heart starts to heal soon :)

I would like to tell you that it gets t be a easy life, my daughter is 40, my granddaughter is 20 and I saw my daughter for about a hour at christmas had lunch and she was gone again, have not had a phone call or a visit since. I have tried the stay busy, work hard, find a outlet, find anything to fill the void. All said and done my daughter has been out of the house for 20 years, it has not been the same since.
Take the small victories when you get them everyday, look for good in everything.
We cannot stop the kids from growing up, they are suppose to do just that.
Do something everyday for just yourself. does not matter what it is.
Good luck all.

As one had replied above, I'm sorry to say that time may not be our best friend in coping when our child leaves us...I am finding that out now. My only child ( daughter) moved out 2 yrs ago who lived with me for almost 28 years to eventually get married. Just like your relationship with your daughter, we were so close as can be, sharing happiness, fun, disappointments and the twists and turns in life together. I hope you'd find some consolation to know that you are not alone in this journey.

Hi,

I saw your post, and it sounds similar to my situation. My Daughter is 26 and has been taking a man she met on Christian Mingle who is from Grenada. She wants to move to New Jersey where he resides and I'm so depressed. I haven't been able to sleep, and overeat as a result of depression. Her and I were best friends and did everything together, not every weekend she is with him. When she gets home from work she eats, and then gets on the phone with him for the rest of the night. Now this Thursday she is flying to Grenada with him for a vacation, and I can't sleep because I'm panicking over this trip. Could use a friend. Maybe we can share stories.

Paula

From reading these posts the last three days I amthinking the key is for women to have other things going on their life, job, volunteer work, etc. My son is leaving today and at times I feel anxious and then other times I think this is a good opportunity for him and whenever I start feeling that anxiousness I try and think of something positive. YOu can't hold them back, they want to spread their wings. It is okay to think the thoughts but try and not let them know what you are thinking.

Funny when son moved out for a year about two years ago...I was so upset but then back then we saw him every week and I got really used to him living away, so when he moved back in it was a bit of an adjustment, this timethough not sure whenwe will see him again as it is about a 5 hour flight away. However, when I start thinking that I tellmyself you can't predict the future he could be back in two months or sooner or later. Try and control your thoughts because believe me I am so good at rumination and negative thinking it is crazy and not healthy.