Empty Nests Support Group

Empty nest syndrome is a general feeling of depression and loneliness that parents/other guardian relatives feel when one or more of their children leave home. Empty nest syndrome has become more prevalent in modern times, as the extended family is becoming less common than in past generations, and the elderly are left living by themselves.

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Rufusmom 04/20/2018

Hi all. i'm new to the group, but so glad there is a place I can put my feelings out instead of keeping them in. I'm 42 and my son is 21, he is moving out into his own place and I'm so proud of him. I have been blessed with a child who does all the right things. I have been overcome with a sadness that I knew would come, but the intesity is more than I can handle. I had my son one month before turning 21 and have lived an breathed for him. My boyfriend has been his father figure for the majority of his life, but no matter what he could go whenever he wanted and my son was till my son, my constant. I know that sounds terrible, but I was felt this little boy was put in my life for me to protect. Now that he's leaving he doesnt need me to protect him so who am I now? If I heard this story from anyone else I would say why are you upset? He's a great kid, you did a great job. He's only 15 minutes away. But inside me is the living through everything that will never be the same. The quite, i cant stand the quite that will come... I hate every moment of the thoughts i have because they are all about me, and not about him and his happiness. I'm have cried over the realziation his stuff wont be all over my house, shoes on the stairs coats on the couch, i'm now going to lock my doors at night becuase no one will be coming in after i go to bed. My heart aches and i feel stupid. I want to be a champion for his transition but my mind isnt letting me. Today it finally hit me he's my security blanket, how selfish is that?? What kind of mother does that? This is probably an overshare but I went to see my doctor yesterday and they prescribed me medication and diagnosied me with depression and anxiety. I just wish i was stronger to deal with all of this and could embrass his happiness. Thank you for giving me a place to honest and open.

2girlsnIowa 04/25/2018

Don't feel stupid. Don't feel selfish. It's only natural the feelings you are having about him leaving. He is very important to you. You are his mother. You will smile and let her see you being proud of him as he moves out...then you will go in your room and cry..and it will get easier!!

mommachew 04/27/2018

Wow Rufusmkm.. thank you for sharing! I feel the same way and am embarrassed because my son is off handling the world on his own and I’m at home trying to figure my life out and who I am. I know it’s a new relationship but I just miss the role I had. I loved it more than I knew. It just seems like my time with my son flew. I live around the corner from a park and school and I see parents driving their kids to school or going to the park with them. I was counting on my son coming home from college for the summer. My son kept asking me what he needed to bring home and how he would see me in a few weeks. I figured this would be my last summer with him at home so I wanted to make it memorable and have one last summer with him and I was excited. Instead, my son called and saids he is staying on campus for the summer. Talk about shock. I felt my heart drop and I guess it really spiral emotions I didn’t know I had. How could I be so attached or dependent on my son?I feel like I’m experiencing a death and/or grieving. Seeing his room empty is horrible. I don’t know if I feel better with his door open or closed. The house is pin quiet. I can only hear my neighbors kids playing. I have to pull myself together when I go to the Grogery store... buying for two is so hard when you shopped at Costco for bulk items. On top of all that I’m going through menopause (a different story for us ladies) which causes mood swings and depression...I’m a mess. I’m not proud of how I’m handling all of this. My doctor finally said the antidepressant word. My husband came home and said you are suffering just start the Meds so I did. I am hoping I can move forward in life and I will try to get off the Meds within a year. I didn’t want to share the part about the Meds because I do feel like a failure. I just couldn’t do this on my own. Thanks for letting me release my sadness. Get well everybody so we can enjoy or kids when they do come home and visit. I’m sure there will be lots of joy in the future.

puggsley 06/19/2018

Their will be lots of joy in your future now you can look forward to grand kids I have over 12 of them I'm so happy when they come over and its more fun then raising your own you can spoil grand kids so much more it will all get better believe me you have lots to look forward to.

HBmom 07/02/2018

I think all these feelings are normal - its a big change for us as parents, who have lived and breathed for these kids for so many years, to go through a grieving process. It literally feels like a death. My youngest daughter doesn't leave until Aug, but I am already a mess. I have been so busy planning her grad party, which was Friday night, and as soon as that was over, all the feelings hit me and I have been crying ever since Sat morning. I have a lump in my throat and that horrible empty feeling in my chest - I'm scared. I've been divorced for 15 years and raised these 2 girls basically by myself - they are my whole life, my reason for everything I do. I work from home too and am really going to be alone. At times, I don't know if I can even bear it, but I'm sure I'll get through it, it just hurts right now. I think its just going to take time for all of us, and nothing can speed that up or lessen the pain.

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