Empty Nests Support Group

Empty nest syndrome is a general feeling of depression and loneliness that parents/other guardian relatives feel when one or more of their children leave home. Empty nest syndrome has become more prevalent in modern times, as the extended family is becoming less common than in past generations, and the elderly are left living by themselves.

1,169 Members
831 Posts
0 Online
Personal Challenges
/ Empty Nests Support Group

My heart and soul are crying out for my daughter

kamjharmony
kamjharmony

 My heart and soul are crying out for my daughter . My daughter who is 19, just moved in with her boyfriend, his brother, and two roommates. They are really good  Young people but she left abruptly I had no time to prepare. It was in the middle of an argument so it made it twice as hard I felt like I made her leave. My husband and I have known the boys family since my husband was five years old so her safety is not an issue he treats her extremely well and she is happy And they’re in Love.  I can’t even walk by her room or open the door to her room because it’s blank ,  empty every time she would go out she would leave a light on and now the lights not even there. Although we have made up I feel like I’m suffocating. No more turning on the porch light waiting for to come home, she’s been staying in touch with me every day would you would think would be enough right? I don’t know what my problem is.  My biggest fear is she will eventually drift away. Her dad and I had a lot of arguments when she was at home but I can’t forgive myself for. I love her with all my heart and she knows that and she loves me as well. I know she’s not moving back this is not what I wanted for future at all I wanted her to get some type of career or college so she can support herself  not move in right away with a man until they were engaged at least. Dreading this Christmas And holidays now. Last week she was just baking cookies in the kitchen and we were having so much fun now she’s gone forever. Please help.

gwennie
gwennie
I am so sorry and can relate to how you are feeling. My daughter recently got married and I feel like I my heart is breaking and I don't know what I'm going to do now that she's gone. She and her husband were going to live with me once they were married - she has MS and can't work and he was already here most of the time and I love him like a son. Then, a few weeks before the wedding, they decided to get their own place for the 1st year of marriage after going through a pre-marriage course with their preacher based on his recommendation. I, like you,no time to prepare for this and now that she's gone, I feel like my purpose in life is gone. You should try to start making plans for the holidays and invite you daughter and her boyfriend to come over and spend Thanksgiving and either Christmas Eve or Christmas Day with you and your husband. You can even try to invite your daughter to come over during the holidays so you two can do some baking together. I think it's great she's staying in contact with you - it's important that she know you are there for her and that she can come back home anytime. That way if things don't work out with her decision to move out, she will not feel she is stuck there with nowhere else to go. And don't worry that she hasn't gone to college yet - a lot of teens don't know what they want to do with their life when they are 18 or 19. That doesn't mean they won't figure it out with some extra time and go to college eventually, maybe even if it's online classes. Unfortunately, I can't give you any helpful advise on how to deal with the heart-wrenching grief and loneliness your are feeling now that she's gone because I'm not dealing with those too well myself. I miss her so much that it actually hurts - it feels like this is never going to get better. And being single is making it even worse - at least you have your husband. I will be praying for you and may I suggest if you are a religious person, you start saying a few prayers or reading the Bible. I don't know what God has planned for me but i read something earlier that really stuck out to me: God knew that during this period of your life, you would be experiencing this right now. And even if you can't see it now or don't understand His ways, He has a plan for us and He loves us. And He loves our daughters even more than we do. Please keep me updated on how you are doing. Are you having problems sleeping? I can't seem to sleep since she's gone. I sleep for 2-3 hours then wake up and can't go back to sleep. The emptiness of the house is so much worse at night. Well, good luck my friend.