Empty Nests Support Group

Empty nest syndrome is a general feeling of depression and loneliness that parents/other guardian relatives feel when one or more of their children leave home. Empty nest syndrome has become more prevalent in modern times, as the extended family is becoming less common than in past generations, and the elderly are left living by themselves.

1,169 Members
831 Posts
0 Online
Personal Challenges
/ Empty Nests Support Group

In a pit of sadness.

Mommabird
Mommabird

Hi. Just joined. Searching for understanding and comfort I guess.


I'm 60 retired and 4wks in to my last leaving home to begin a life with her partner.


I know I'm lucky as my 2 kids are local.si I can see them regularly.....but.......it's not helping....I thought I was ready. I've been helpingy daughter set up her new home happily . I had no idea I would be hit by a freight train the night I got home after moving her in.


I'm devastated. I can't eat sleep or stop crying. It's exhausting keeping it from her ( trying so hard not to rain on her parade) but my face says it all ..so she knows.


I hate being at home I don't like my house anymore. It used to be a sanctuary but now it sets off panic attacks. It has no purpose anymore. 


I'm scared I'm lonely ( although I have a supportive husband) .I don't know what to do with myself. I hate all the online advice of....find yourself....get a hobby....meet friends... It's sounds so trite amid my grief. I can't pull myself together or find happiness in anything.My light has gone out !


None of my family or friends seem to have experienced this. So I feel isolated. Help





zommom
zommom
I just joined too! Please don't feel isolated b/c we both know that so many parents are going through it. Some just don't feel as deeply for whatever reason, but that doesn't mean their love isn't as real. I'm not sure about you, but I treasured my children's childhoods so deeply b/c of my upbringing (was part amazing and then came crashing down at age 12) and wanted this to be so special...milestones, pictures, memories. My youngest son graduates HS in a month and then off to college an 8-hour car ride away. I've been a wreck for three years (like most who weathered the pandemic) when my oldest graduated, went off to college with untreated depression and anxiety, and is now back at home getting treatment. So I'm not truly empty nesting yet, but I feel that the chapter of me staying home (while working PT from home) is coming to a sad end. Sad b/c my boys already pulled away from me (as teen boys do!) but I'm still lost in the past. Like you, I don't like our home anymore. Every outside and inside nook and cranny is a memory. My husband doesn't allow himself to feel and doesn't want me always bringing him down. My closest friends never had children, but I have an outer-tier mom friend group I could contact. I appreciate this group even though I'm new. Just knowing it's here is comfort.
Daddyo
Daddyo
I am so sorry for your situation and the way you feel. In many ways I am going thru same thing. I was searching around for an online support group and here I am.

I am 59 and switched to 1/2 time at work, preparing to retire in a couple years. My kids are in college an hour away but they are almost 100% out of touch. It is hard to believe this because we have been a tight family for 20 years (maybe I am TOO close to my kids, worsening some of these feelings? They are adopted from Korea and it's been quite a ride).

My oldest (girl) is about to graduate. She is a great kid but has made some ? decisions. This is contributing to my "depression". She announced last year she is dating a 35 yo divorced dude with 2 kids -- she's 22! What's worse is she was going to move back home for her last semester since she has an internship near our home, but just text-bombed me that instead she is going to live with that guy.

So I am getting hit 2 ways. I miss her anyway, and now she is upset with me because I don't condone her dating, much less living with, this old guy.

I thought I was depressed about her situation, but then it hit me that it is probably ENS.

I work from home all alone now, which contributes.

Praying helps, drinking helps a bit but has its own issues, but I realize I need to keep myself busier and at home less often.

I really wish you luck in figuring things out. If you come up with something let us know! I found a scripture passage that really helped me...not posting it in case some people get irked at that kind of thing. But the gist was...my nest is now my life with my wife, and I need to trust that kids will get thru stuff on their own. Still working on it...