Empty Nests Support Group

Empty nest syndrome is a general feeling of depression and loneliness that parents/other guardian relatives feel when one or more of their children leave home. Empty nest syndrome has become more prevalent in modern times, as the extended family is becoming less common than in past generations, and the elderly are left living by themselves.

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I feel lost

Lizzie1813
Lizzie1813

TRIGGER WARNING


Hello, everyone. I'm new to this group. I've been struggling with empty nest emotions since June of last year. My daughter (21) left for college four years ago, and it was hard, but having my son (now 19) in the house helped.


Last June, my son moved in with his dad and stepmom following my suicide attempt and 7 week stay in the hospital. We talked on the phone some and texted, and I saw him a few times. As time passed, he stopped answering the phone, and his text replies got shorter and shorter.


On April 19, he sent me an email asking me not to contact him. He said he needed to process the events of last June. He called me his "birth mother." My heart broke. I'm scared he will never want me back in his life, and living in an empty nest makes the pain worse.


I binge watch Netflix all day to stop myself from thinking about him. At night when I pray for both my kids, I can't stop the tears. I know I should stay busy, but I'm not able to work so my days are as empty as my home. I've tried starting new hobbies, but the motivation just isn't there. I have bipolar disorder so I see my psychiatrist and therapist regularly. I just feel so lonely.


Thank you for listening. If anyone has any insights, I'd love to hear them. 


Lizzie

leeigh
leeigh
I feel so sad for you. I am also getting used to living in an empty nest. My son finds my depression difficult to process - he once said that it was because i was the only reliable person in his life and the thought that he couldn't rely on me terrified him. Could this be what frightens your son? I do feel that his father should be encouraging him to keep in touch with you, it could be that neither understand your illness very well. Could your daughter speak to him about his feelings? 19 is a very confusing age - expected to be an adult but with no life experience. I would give him a little time and then send a message occassionally that requires no answer - hope your'e well, i love you, etc - I think eventually he will reply.
Lizzie1813
Lizzie1813
Leeigh,

Thank you so much for reading my post and replying. I’m sorry you are having a hard time with depression. It’s tough for our kids to understand and deal with that. My kids always worry when they can tell that I’m “up.” I’ve just come down from a manic episode, and I’m worried I’ll sink into depression as a result. I wish my son’s dad would encourage him to connect with me. Know you’re not alone. If you ever need someone to listen, you can message me. Much love to you!

Lizzie