Empty Nests Support Group

Empty nest syndrome is a general feeling of depression and loneliness that parents/other guardian relatives feel when one or more of their children leave home. Empty nest syndrome has become more prevalent in modern times, as the extended family is becoming less common than in past generations, and the elderly are left living by themselves.

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Hello

rosebudmom
rosebudmom

Hello, I am new to this group. I am a 56 year old grandma to 2 beautidul grandsons and another grandbaby due in Jan. My son and daughter in law lived with us when my 1st. grandson was born almost 4 years ago, then moved out when he was 3 months old. It was very hard on me. I just held my son and cried. They only moved 1 hour away. 3 months after that, my son lost his job and they moved back in. Things were pretty good, but they wanted a place of their own, so a year later they moved out again. The problem now is I quit my job to watch my grandsons this Jan. I stared out watching them 4 days a week. My daughter in law changed her work schedule because she is pregnant again and couldn't handle double shifts, which I encouraged her to do. Then I only had the grandsons 3 days, now she is trading babysitting with a friend and I will only have them 1 day. I feel terrible and am not sure what I will do with myself.  My counslor told me today that I have Empty Nest Syndrome for the second time. So I am hoping that I can get some ideas as to how I can cope.


Thank you

lighttheway
lighttheway
Hi Rosebudmom..I had a similar situation.I have one grandson from my daughter.She and I have always been very close.when her baby was born,she had to go back to work when he was 6 weeks old.she asked me to watch him when he was at work.I watched him every day about 40 hours plus a week for almost 3 years.I had a close bond with him.Than a couple of things happened all at once.My oldest son was in a bad car accident and was in the hospital for a week with multile fractures.He needed full time care and I was the only one to do.which of course I wanted to be there with him.but I could not do both caregiver to him and watch my grandson.She ended up having to put him in daycare.He liked daycare,being around the other kids,especially that he was an only child.So I felt such an incredible loss.i ony saw him once a week for a couple of hours.My daughter was angry at me that I could not watch him, even though she knew I needed to take care of son after accident.I started not getting along with her husband,who also didnt understand.I have no idea why they didnt understand.So he is almost 4 now.I have tried to mend hurt feelings.Etc etc.i get to see him now for 2 times a week visits.We are still very bonded.Hes always so happy to see me.But I miss all that time.It literally broke my heart in two.so I totally understand what you are going thru.Your not alone here.. I hope you keep poting.alot of great support here.hugs xxx
KCH
KCH
I feel all your pain, I am 63 and I have a 23 yo that left once to go have her own place. I had a real rough time the first time she did, but as each day went by things got better, I still had panic attacks as evening would come and I knew she wouldn't be walking through the door after work but I also knew she only lived 9 miles from me and she was over here every weekend, or I was at her place. Well, a couple months ago she moved back to get herself in better financial shape before moving out again, well the time she has been here has been nice, but she signed a lease and will be moving out again so all over again it is hitting me bad. I have been having panic attacks, just knowing she is going even though I know she is moving just about the same distance she was away from me before. She left for work today and as she was leaving I felt like cold water was flowing through my veins, yep a stupid panic attack coming on, she works the second shift so I know it's going to get dark and more lonely. I have a lot going on right now, my oldest son has been out of my life since he was first married, said I wasn't invited to his wedding, we were very close until I went on to have other children after I had him go with his dad, (he said I left him). I have a grandchild that I have only seen once (his child), I also have another daughter that felt I didn't love her as much as my last daughter even though we were inseparable before my last daughter was born, things were different but I have never stopped loving her. Well anyway, she moved 2 1/2 hours away and now is moving 23 hours away I live in Ohio and she will be moving to Colorado, I don't want to discourage her move but I don't want her so far away either, if she needs me I wouldn't just be able to get to her quickly, now yesterday the daughter moving out soon has mentioned moving to Colorado also, I will be without any of my children I feel so alone and empty. I feel so stupid sometimes that I feel this way because my youngest daughter is signing a 18 month lease so at least for that time she will be living close, but she will still be moving out........
mamalovesyou
mamalovesyou
I bet we could be friends! I want grandchildren! Whatever time you have with your grandchildren will mean so much to them. I hope you get to spend more time with them. Don't let anyone make you feel "needy". If more people cared as much about their children as you do, the world would be a better place.
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