Thank you for sharing. I can totally relate to your story. We lived overseas and my daughters had to go to boarding school due to where we lived. They left at 14 and 15 years old. I felt it was too soon for them to leave home and that I became and empty-nester so fast. However, what helped me is to see how grown up they were and that it prepared them for the wonderful adults they have become. It took changing my perspective to stop thinking I was a bad mom or we were bad parents for sending out our children so early from the home. Instead, I had to see it in a positive light, that they learned their independence which made them a well adjusted adult and the transition to university was much easier for them.

Focusing on the positive is always healthier for ourselves and our children.
Whenever those guilty feelings start creeping in, I immediately stop them and find a positive one to replace it with.

I know nothing is by chance and I know God had a reason why I became an empty-nester so young and I believe the same if for you. If you ever need someone to chat with please feel free to pm me. Hugs and God Bless

Thank you so much for the advice and letting me know I’m not the only one. I will have to replace the negatives with positives because if I don’t the guilt is going to destroy me. I’m glad to hear your (adult) children are doing well as what I hope for for my son. Hugs.

Will continue to pray for you and your sons. Just know you are not alone. This is tough for mom's when our children grow up and leave. However, it is important we learn what we enjoy and do those things. Volunteering really helps me along with doing some classes I enjoy like dancing and games. Reach out anytime we are here for each other. Hugs

I think we have parent guilt sometimes and it may or may not be healthy stuff for us. Your son did get to chose to go with you or stay. Life happens this way sometimes - life is often messy. It may not be the typical "child leaves family home to live on their own" but it is okay to not be the typical. Your son may just thrive now that he has to be independent and on his own. We loved being independent and on our own back when we were 19. And you guys may end up moving back in a few years, or maybe where you live is better. I got remarried and moved away from where my adult children were. A few years later, my youngest moved to my city to start over in his life and because we were more stable than his dad. So moving meant I didn't have the reminders of living near them and the pain their dad caused me but also that I had to make more of an effort to go see them. They rarely will come see me. Even though we live a morning's drive in the same state. The thing I found was if I embraced the change and embraced the new, I felt pretty good having moved. And all these years later, even with my own kids not visiting me here, I am glad to have moved. I liked where I live and I liked where I used to live. Moving is a big change so you are also having to figure out where to shop, where to work, all new to you. And not having friends locally is often hard, so add in trying to make new friends. The first year feels like walking on sand, it all shifts and doesn't feel solid. Give yourself the first year to feel discombobulated, as it feels like to me. But you will get to where it is solid again. Yes, let go of the guilt. He is not abandoned. You are a good parent!