I'm going through a similar situation today. we dropped my daughter off at college yesterday. We're hanging around the next couple of days to take her shopping for last minute stuff today and leaving tomorrow morning heading back home over 900 miles away. I keep being told that you've raised her right or she wouldn't be here. I'm just very anxious and full of the fear of the unknown. I hope it helps knowing you're not the only Dad feeling this way right now.

I really respect all of you Dads who had the instincts of being a loving parent. So many mothers have to provide all of the love and emotional support even if they are married! I hope your children visit often and give you some grandchildren that are just as awesome as you are!

hi guitarDad - how are you feeling now? I hope things are OK for both you and your daughter, and she's settling in. When my son left home it took a few weeks for me to realise he was really gone for good. I'd been looking forward to my freedom for so many years, but when I got it I was lost and felt more bereaved than anything! It is really tough. Basically they are reinventing themselves as adults, so we have to reinvent ourselves too. But they're buzzing with excitement and I just felt utterly grief stricken and depressed! I ended up relocating to a small place near my son, so he knows I'm not expecting him to move in (it's only a one bed flat) ie: I respect his independence, but I'm still here if he wants a snack or a hug. Definitely not here to give him advice or fix things for him though - he has his pride!

So I am a sad-act who has followed my son like I have nothing better to do with my life - I realise this is not the answer for everyone, but it's worked for me. The hardest thing apart from grieving the end of an era, is trying not to feel hurt by the fact our kids have more important things to do now, and more important people to see. Parents are just some relic from the past, and they're trying to distance themselves from their childhood, not be reminded of it. It's hard not to sulk when we're ignored, or try to guilt trip them into paying us attention instead. But that's something else which will drive them away because they want to feel good about themselves, not guilty!

I found facebook messaging my son every day briefly in a fun, non-demanding way, has been a good thing as he's reminded I exist and that I love him and am here for him, but it's not putting any heavy expectations on him - plus he loves the facebook stickers - sometimes a conversation consists of just stickers! Just doing that every day, being reliably there for a couple of minutes of his day, has done so much for our relationship, it's amazing really - very simple and easy, so I'd recommend it, but don't sulk or get upset if they're too busy to reply either - keep the daily message going even if they don't reply. If I get no replies for 3 days though I phone as I'm worried if he doesn't respond for that long. Generally though I never phone - he messages me back to STOP me phoning in fact LOL - this is what works for me, but you might find some other way of dealing with the loss. I hope you keep us posted - best wishes xx

Hi GuitarDad - hoping that you're hanging in there. Funny how when your children are little and everyone tells you how fast they'll grow up - you feel like you have forever with them. Then in a blink - they're off to college and you don't know where all the years went. I'm sure your daughter is a wonderful young woman - but also a daughter who still needs her dad. Hoping that you've gotten to talk to her a lot, maybe skype a bit, and can visit on parent's day - which usually rolls around pretty quickly. I feel your pain - and wish you peace as you adjust to this great loss. Hugs your way :)

Thank you for the inspiring words, its very helpful to hear how others have coped. My daughter and I have spoken a few times and have used FaceTime once or twice (mostly so she could view the contents of her room to see what she wants me to send). Its too early to make any life decisions, though I am kicking myself a bit for not laying the groundwork for this day which I knew was coming for a very long time. But, in the meantime, I am continuing to clean out this house. Its a mixed blessing because it allows me the "therapy" of doing something constructive and helpful, but am bumping into a lot of stuff from my kids thats been laying around. For example, just how many of their letters home from camp should I really keep? :)

I have to decide when to sell the house and move somewhere smaller, the idea of moving near one of them has occurred to me like Edana, but I really don't know if either of them will be staying in the college towns they currently inhabit.

Thank you again, please keep responding if you can, its very helpful!