Empty Nests Support Group

Empty nest syndrome is a general feeling of depression and loneliness that parents/other guardian relatives feel when one or more of their children leave home. Empty nest syndrome has become more prevalent in modern times, as the extended family is becoming less common than in past generations, and the elderly are left living by themselves.

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mirenda77 04/16/2015

Here I go again.....
I can't see the sun through the clouds. Its been some time since i have needed support, but now my youngest is leaving for College (10+ hours away) in August for the next 4 1/2 yr long program. He will be also have to do paid internships every summer 1st three yrs of college ( 3 months of summer every time and then 7 month internship last year of college). We will be very limited in how much we get to see him. It's a bitter/sweet time for me. I am so happy for his bright future but I feel frozen in my own. I can't seem to see past August. How after caring for this child/young adult for the last 17+ yrs can I just let go? If he were closer , it wouldn't be as hard. Who will protect him so far away? I lost my brother to a violent crime when he was young and I know this plays into my fears. As most mothers, I am very protective of my children, I feel helpless now.
Yes, I realize i have taught him many things and hope he uses them to get through life. But that doesn't take away my daily fears. I've heard it all...you have to let him grow up and be his own man, etc etc. I know this all....but reality is now here and my emotions are spiraling down. ( I am also in early age menopause which doesn't help, Im only 47yrs young) Its usually me giving the advice, always the positive person with a smile, not now

msmugwump 04/17/2015

When we were in the letting go phase of our only child... I had many fears that you seem to have. My son was quite impulsive - he still is at 28 - so I felt he was going to cause all his own problems. I remember confiding in a friend - who by the way has no children - that I was terrified of letting go. "Had we taught him everything he will need to know to survive in this world?" Her extremely quick response was "Well, NO!" Her answer both startled me and amused me. He will have to navigate this world on his own terms, with all the love and support we can give him from behind. And, yes, we may have to pick up the pieces from time to time. But if your son is committed to such an endeavor for his education, then I'm sure he had a loving and supportive childhood. Sounds like some road trip plans are in order!

mirenda77 04/21/2015

Thank you for replying to me. I will keep in mind that we have taught him well and I know he will make good choices for himself. I realize his daily life will be out of my hands, I have always prayed to God for the safety and health of my children. I will be leaning on God even more now. I am learning about Laws of Attraction also and keeping good thoughts in my mind as much as humanly possible. It is good people like you who are/will help to get me through this by talking it out and I will help myself in many positive ways :)

2sis7luv 04/23/2015

Hello mirenda77I can relate to your emotions about your son leaving to go away for college. I have two sons who are grown and gone and even after 7 or 8 years of them being out of the house, I still get emotional about my empty nest. I know that feeling of worry when they first leave. It takes a long time to adjust. The best advice I can give is to keep busy. Time will make it a bit easier. I miss having my sons at home but realize that they have their own lives to live now. It helps me to think back on my own life and how I felt when I was in college and when I was in my 20's. I wish you the best as you go through this difficult time. Also, if you have a dog or other pet, it is helpful to have them to care for. HUGS!

Paulinaakk1 04/23/2015

It is a hard, hurtful time. I hope he keeps in touch with you. Facebook and texting help a lot. I agree with others, being busy helps. Hugs.

mirenda77 05/03/2015

Your words are kind and helpful i am not normally an anxious person but with august soon approaching, i have decided to go for hypnotherapy one on one. It worked for me many years ago to quit smoking and i never looked back. I just dont want to see august as a grieving time, but instead a transitional time for us all I recognize this and am going to do whatever i can to make it a emotionally healthier Accepting change. Ps i am in premenopsuse so that does t help. Lol

louiser100 05/08/2015

Hi I would be grateful if you could let me know if your treatment works as I will try anything that I think might help, my youngest of 3 goes to uni in sept and am dreading it already, as each one moves on and leaves home I feel more and more lonely and want to cry all the time, I am single and have been for 15 years nd until my children started leaving home to do their own things I was happy to be single. Now Im wondering if that was a mistake then I wouldn't feel so lonely now. I know Im being silly as they all have nice partners and do stay in touch occasionally as they have their own lives but I just cant motivate myself when I get out of bed in the mornings I just think what is the point and I cant pull myself out of it :-(

mirenda77 05/11/2015

Sure, I will post my progression with hypnotherapist when I start soon.
Thank you for your words of support.

mirenda77 05/11/2015

WOW...this was on my Facebook page

Today we believe God wants us to know that ...
the most common regret is not living a life true to yourself
Have the courage to live a life true to yourself, not the life others expect of you. You can start small, but do start honoring at least some of your dreams.

mirenda77 07/08/2015

I had my Hypnotherapy session today. It was a beautiful experience again, since Ive had hypnotherapy before in my life. The answers lie within myself I know, and with the help of the therapist to find the correct tool to use

Getingstronger 07/09/2015

I am probably older than most of you on this forum, but I remember the feelings you are all feeling. I am 66, my youngest of three is 31 and getting married in August. I am lucky; I have a wonderful hubby to share my life with, my Mom is still alive at 85 and doing well. My son is 45 and has 2 sons, my middle daughter is 41 and has a son and daughter. We adore our grandchildren and spend as much time as we can with them, though they are growing older and we don't feel very needed any longer.

So with the youngest getting married in a couple of months, I am going through the empty nest syndrome again, just in a different way. When they were going away to college it was lonely in one way, but now that they will all have families and spouses, it is loneliness in a different way. I am happy they are all working, they are good citizens and we have so much to be thankful for, but it is still sad at this time of my life. I know I will be fine, but I have to keep busy and march on with life.

Oh, that we could keep them young forever! Thinking of you all.

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