Empty Nests Support Group
Empty nest syndrome is a general feeling of depression and loneliness that parents/other guardian relatives feel when one or more of their children leave home. Empty nest syndrome has become more prevalent in modern times, as the extended family is becoming less common than in past generations, and the elderly are left living by themselves.
Hello everyone, I'm a mother of 4 adult children and I have four beautiful grandchildren. I was married for 15 years and divorced for 23. I was not the perfect mother; however, I did the best I could for them.
Lately, I have noticed that my interactions with them have changed. I rarely talk to them and hardly ever see them. We are not getting together as a family this year for Thanksgiving or Christmas. I understand that they are adults and have their own lives, but it still hurts. I have made them and their families my priority in my life, and now I have minimal communication with them. I don't want to force them to spend time with me. It's tough to accept this as my life now.
Any suggestions/thoughts on how to handle this situation would be appreciated.
Thanks,
Ree
No parent is perfect and good parents have children who are uncaring or uninvolved in the parent's life. Sometimes we baby boomer parents had this fantasy of the perfect family and what I call eternal motherhood. But now we have reality and real life and it isn't always as we dreamed.
Our roles as mothers do come to an end but our lives as a human being continues. So this is our time to remake our lives. It is another chapter in our book. We turn the page. We have to actively work to find new activities and friends and social things. Seek companionship, find new love if we so choose. If we have other fun things in our lives, we can more easily accept and find joy. If we are constantly thinking of what we don't have, then we become unhappy. Join a bookclub through your local library as a way to widen your horizons. Go to church events or classes. Volunteer.
So for your current holiday thing, find some also alone friends or neighbors and invite them to your party. There are tons of people alone on holidays, some by choice and others not by choice. Or ask friends if you can join their gatherings. Volunteer to help feed the homeless or at the animal shelter. Some people travel on holidays, that is what we usually do pre-covid. You'd be surprised how many alone people are traveling on holidays. But now is the time to make travel plans if that interests you. Or a cruise where there are lots of single people, people alone. If you stay home, then get out in nature on those days. You are not alone in having no family events this holiday season.