Emotional Affairs Community Group
Support for people whose spouse / significant other had an emotional affair.
Emotional adultery history and my carnage of the h
deleted_user
We married in Jan. 2006, by Sept 2006 first emotional affair with co-worker, he was lying, making excuses, texting (she even text him she love him) and his whole character changed. So I left him (as we were living in his mom house and he is her favorite, so he do no wrong). That was the first but not last emotional affair, seems every job, he gets attached to some female and I have to go thru this vicious cycle of sorting thru lies, confronting him, calling her for the truth, checking phone records, and just becoming a very active detective. Even when he tells me or trys to prove to me he is not doing it, it all comes out that he was just lying to me and he tells them things that go on in our home or things about me (but he never tells me about them, even when he gets busted, its like he's protecting them). I feel so betrayed on so many levels from him using my car to get to work (to be with them, text, call them, he has even lost a job because I refuse to let him use my car and I talk to her, he was embarrased, he told her we were getting a divorce, because I asked him is that what need to be done) because he too lazy to get his fixed. I have found phone numbers (several at one time). He does say he love me and don't want me to leave, but now because I am nagging him (his words) all the time and won't let this go, he thinks we may need a seperation. I am so tired of crying, feeling bitter, being faithful to someone apparently not going to be faithful to me, and so many other emotions right now, mostly angry, betrayed, disappointed that I dont know what to do but leave and don't look back. We have been married 6 years, Jan 2012. I started school and all I ask for is to be faithful while I attend school so I won't be distracted. I hardly ask much from my husband as I am an independent person. He couldnt/didn't honor his word on that. My Christmas holiday was terrible (all know me that is my favorite time of year), but not only no gift, but he told her what I bought him and she made a joke about it. They were laughting about it. A gps was the gift, so he can learn way around new city, and she text him back laughing about it saying they can't meet up cause it may have a tracing device attached, so that let me know he cultivating more than just a phone conversation.Somebody help me, I can't afford psychiatrist.
deleted_user
A thought: I know couples can benefit from marriage counseling, but sometimes it makes me feel like I did something wrong, and part of his problem. First the emotional adulterer need to get help for their actions, try to find out why this behavior and how to stop it. Then couple coucilling to strengthen the marriage bond. Cheating is a choice not a disease. When people put more time into cheating, they need to held accountable for their actions first then address other marital issues.
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