I was married for 20 years and was emotionally abused during that relationship. I was told I was stupid, I was an idiot, I couldn't do anything right, I was fat, ugly...the list goes on. I had two beautiful boys by my ex so I felt I should stay and try to work it out. I finally had enough when my youngest son was 16. Funny thing, it took my now ex cheating for me to have enough. 

It took my best friend months of standing me in front of a mirror saying I was beautiful and smart over and over before I came to realize even half of it was true. The truth is while I was being called ugly and stupid and all those other things I was putting myself through nursing school and raising two boys as their dad spent most of his time out of town. 

I met this wonderful man after finally leaving and divorcing my now ex (sorry can't even call him husband to this day). We have been together over three years and everything was going great. He even asked me to marry him, which I accepted. Then a couple of months ago things started getting rocky. Our home flooded and we lost everything. We are living with family and trying to rebuild our lives. 

He started out with snide comments to things I said and yelled at me several times. A few weeks ago we were supposed to go see my family overnight and he got into a fight with me calling me names, such as "vindictive bitch" to a joke I made. I left and visited my family overnight but the fun I was supposed to have was ruined. He sent me a text a couple of hours later apologizing and saying I love you. I accepted but since I have seen this before I just waited for the other shoe to drop. It did two days ago.

We were discussing something and I said the wrong thing. He yelled at me and kept driving, I waited a few minutes and tried to explain my position. I guess that was the wrong thing to do. He started swearing, swerving the vehicle, hitting the steering wheel, and acting like an idiot. He has not apologized for this incident. Again, I know how this game is played. I just thought it would be different this time.

We are not married, he keeps pushing for a date. I haven't agreed to one yet, I just keep coming up with excuses. My head knows what is going on but my heart still loves him. Is this just him stressed and taking it out on me? I know it's not right and needs to stop. When the original incident of me leaving to spend time with family happened, we talked. He doesn't think he has a problem. He stated I pushed his buttons. This time was more than just yelling at me. Next time will it be me he hits instead of the steering wheel?