I think you can attend OA meetings online if there are none in your area. You say you want to get better more than you want to give up. Concentrate on that.

Though not every post or journal on DS gets commented on, you're not alone in your struggles with ED.

Well I can relate of hurting everyone around me, knowing it and not being able to stop... I Just couldn't, and I too can relate with having no where to turn, and that is actually the best place I ever got too!
I know saying getting to the point of no where to turn was a blessing sounds crazy.
but It was the place I got to and finally looked to spiritual help and gave my heart to God...
believe me, if this were not better then running my life on self will I wouldn't not take the time to write this, but there is one who wil never give up on you and wants to lift all your pain, and heal your heart from the abuse and rejections and pain..
all you need is faith and a willing heart to ask for grace and help...

I was so alone and in so much pain most of my life, and the freedom from shame and discouragement that comes in Christ is beyond my wildest dreams. He love you and is willing all you need is faith and a sincere heart to ask for Help...

This is the miracle of free will. God will not impose His will on you, but You must ask.....and surrender to Win!!! But you are not alone and then over time, Your relationships with others will be straightened out..
Any how I want you to know there is hope. and you can reject this message if you choose, but I at least told you the way of freedom from the heart ache and pain... If it wasn't so I wouldn't say this.. Bless you, Also write me anytime if you just need to share too.

All I can say is that life is worth fighting. It might not seem like it at times but when you look around at your loved ones or just nature, I hope you see the beauty of it all.

I agree totally with Kalandra - get to on-line meetings! OA as plenty and although you're not an over eater, you can apply the principles. Eating disorders anonymous, or eating addicts anonymous may also have on line meetings - they certainly have literature on line and these 12 step programs have definately been a life saver for me! Food is cunning and baffling - I found the 12 steps and program provided tools for me to live life on lifes terms and to learn how to view food as something to nourish my cells and that's it - it is necessary and that is it. Starving did give me a bit of a power trip, but I now gain my strength from other sources and am able to enjoy my life more thoroughly - life is far more meaningful and I am able to live in the present and share other people's experiences far more than before - if I am honest with myself, I was too caught up in the food (or abstinence thereof) to enjoy life, so I was selfish. But that was me. IT was tough and I couldn't have done it on my own. I believe it's a disease and view it similarly to my epilepsy - I get help for that, so why should this be any different?!?
Best wishes and I pray you find something that works for you!

i sent you an e-mail here. OA is an excellent program, and you can do it online.

Hello, I don't anything about OA and I'm not too sure what's in your local area, but don't give up. Have a look on notice boards, at the doctors, your local community centre, your church etc, because sometimes adverts are posted advertising support groups for various illnesses and addictions.
I've only recently become a member of DS and I've found it very reassuring knowing that someone is listening. Although I don't feel different in myself, I appreciate other members trying to help.
Maybe joining a local club or group, not related to your ED will enable you to make some new friends and boost your confidence socially... If you have something to occupy your thoughts, maybe your ED struggles will lessen... I'm sure though, it's just a suggestion. Maybe not a good one...
If you like, you can always send me a message and I will do my best to reply ASAP and give you the best advice and help I can offer.