My mom was like that my first time around. He is probably scared, and thinks that he is helping, as stupid as that is. Maybe, i know its hard, tell him what you need in terms of support. Explain to him that nagging you about eating really only has the opposite effect.

I agree with the above. He probably has no clue how his actions affect you and no clue about what drives the ED. A lot of people are just incapable of understanding without a lot of help. If you can't explain it to him, maybe you could write him a letter explaining it like you just did for us.

Your husband sounds like a jerk to me. He seems to feed your ED(no pun intended). If he really is just scared and doesn't know how to handle the situation, he needs to have a session with your therapist who can explain how to support you, or read a book on loved ones of ED sufferers. If his negative behavior doesn't change after that, you should reevaluate your relationship.

My husband can be that way sometimes, but you have to remember that he is frustrated. Men like to "fix" things, but he can't fix your ED, so he feels helpless and takes it out on you. All you can do is communicate your feelings to him- no one is a mindreader. If you get angry, instead of yelling, say: "It really makes me feel _____ (angry, hurt, sad) when you. I need you to ________ (be supportive, give me the benefit of the doubt, appreciate my small victories) instead. Do you think you could do this?" This is the basic outline of a non-confrontational protest that we learned in Family Week therapy at RR. I'd also recommend that he read some of the books listed in "Resources" thread in the "Family and Friends of ED Loved Ones" board, as well as the link for friends/family on something-fishy.org . Stay strong, and don't allow his insensitive comments get to you. We're all here to support you- you can always message me when you're down. /hugs Take care, lovely lady.

Oh, and I agree with Karrin- if he refuses to read up or try to understand from your point of view...I'd also start to re-evaluate things. He might not understand all the time, but as long as he's trying (which he obviously isn't right now) in the future, you can see that he wants to help.

Oh, and this is the outline, but correctly written:
"It really makes me feel _____ (angry, hurt, sad) when you _______ (attack me, be the food police, minimise the difficulty of recovery). I need you to ________ (be supportive, give me the benefit of the doubt, appreciate my small victories) instead. Do you think you could do this?"