Tough question that I don't have a great answer for. I know I will plan with my family what will be cooked so I will have some control over that which will help. I think my goal is to give myself permission to be flexible that day and try my hardest not to let the ED take away from that but also accept that I will likely have some ED behaviors crop up and not expect perfection from myself. Going off my meal plan for a holiday is ok and I hope to feel ok enough about it when the day comes. Its hard though when all you can feel is the anxiety and panic about the foods that becomes incapacitating. I will plan that I am going to have something sweet and hopefully that permission ahead of time and it not being an impulse or binge decision will make me feel safer about a treat. Im expecting anxiety and discomfort though but at least I wont be surprised by those feelings. Let us know how it goes!

I'm struggling with the fact that I'm going to be off work for 4 days. Normally that would be exciting, but at the moment, the lack of daily structure is freaking me out. I use structured eating and have a schedule in my recovery. It's hard to maintain right now in these early stages when left to my own devices. Thinking about desserts is kinda freaking me out too. My goal is to do some affirmations throughout the day when I'm tempted by desserts. "Having dessert is okay" or "Having dessert doesn't equal shame" or "There's nothing wrong with wanting to partake in all aspects of the festivities". And some others I have written down somewhere. Good luck. Keep us posted!

Sonny you said something in a previous post about how one day of eating out wont make you gain weight, and that's something I have been reflecting on. One day of Thanksgiving eating outside of normal meal schedules is 100% not going to make us gain weight. Our bodies are able to handle a few extra calories on occasion. That thought has helped me as I look towards Thanksgiving.

LP, I like the idea of not expecting perfection....we should be able to relax and enjoy a little bit, and giving ourselves permission to do that is a perfectly normal thing!

meinrecovery, I like your affirmations and intend to use them! I also totally understand what you mean about the lack of structure...I use structured eating too, and it makes me nervous that I will be away from home for a few days and away from my routine and structure.

Holidays are hard for people with eating disorders. Because there is always food. If you have a supportive family that knows about your struggles makes it a little easier. One suggestion is talk to your family on what all will be there. This way there's no surprises. This way you can decide what you will be eating and how much. If this still causes anxiety I would bring something. Hopefully they will be understanding. This way it can cause less anxiety so you can enjoy the time with your family. Hope you find this helpful.

Thanks shorty, that was very helpful :)

I've come to accept that holidays are a time to focus on fun, and family and friends (and a little liquid sunshine always is nice:)). Yes, it is hard to be around all of that food and try and blend in "normally". But if you take the pressure off of yourself mentally and allow yourself to eat what your body wants it shouldn't be a problem. Easier said than done, I realize. But we have to experience discomfort to get ourselves eventually to a better place. I refuse to feel shame OR guilt over food anymore. People who beat their kids or steal from the elderly deserve to feel guilt and shame. People who eat a piece of pie or go for seconds at a meal do not.

This is one of the issues I have with food plans. When people map out their food to the exact morsel it throws them into a tail-spin when they have social events or unexpected plans. I'm not criticizing - it just seems to be a tricky way to "learn" to eat. Does deviating from your exact plan cause you to feel panicky, or guilty? Just wondering because I've never been on a meal plan.

Anyway, I've rambled. Good luck sonny - I'm sure you'll do fine:)

Good point Forestfreek, no one should feel shame or guilt over food, and simply allowing ourselves to eat what our body wants shouldn't be problematic. That's a really good way to look at it. I think I'm just going to go with the mindset that it's a special day to enjoy all around...food, friends, and family are all apart of that, and I'm going to do my best not to stress over the food part.

To answer your question, yes for me deviating from my meal plan does cause stress. Following it provides a certain level of comfort, but you are right....it can be very hard to deal with social events or unexpected plans, at least for me. Although I will say 2 days ago I was out on the road and very busy and not home to have my lunch, and I had no time to plan a meal, and I stopped and got a donut and a coffee because I was starving, and I did this with no guilt or shame, and I enjoyed the hell out of that donut! That was a big step for me!

I'm happy for you. It is great that you were able to do that. I will send you good thoughts so that you will be ok on Thanksgiving. Hugs