Eating Disorders Support Group

Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.

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Mental Health
/ Eating Disorders Support Group

Struggling

powerpurplewarrior
powerpurplewarrior

I'm really struggling with my body image and weight. I very well could be in denial but I don't think I have an eating disorder? Disordered eating habits I for sure deal with those! I recently had weight loss surgery, almost 6mo ago. I'm getting teased or bullied by friends and family saying that I took the easy way out. This is not easy by any means! I get mixed messages by my doctors and other ed professionals. On one hand I'm getting praised for losing weight and on the other hand I'm getting messages that I'm fine just the way that I am, (HAES). I am following all the "rules" that my bariatric surgeon says is vital and I really don't want to let him down. I went to see another pain specialist for my first consultation who told me that if I just lose the weight I wouldn't be in pain. He had no history of my chronic pain issues. He gave me this really restrictive diet to follow. I felt very dismissed and felt like he was very rude about it all. Idk what to do? I see my bariatric surgeon in two weeks for my 6mo follow up appt. Maybe I should have never had the surgery? I thought it would help. I was pre-diabetic, had a fatty liver, high cholesterol and had high blood pressure, not to mention the severe pain I was in. Most of these have resolved themselves now. According to the BMI, that my surgeon lives by, I'm still obese. I want to be healthy but I don't know what to do anymore? I love food, probably too much. I've never restricted prior to surgery. But I have binged and purged. I restrict now because of the after bariatric surgery diet that I'm on. I don't want this to blow up into a huge ed crisis. I've got other mental health issues on my plate as it is. I have a trauma specalist therapist who has also suggested losing weight to feel better about myself. I'm frustrated, confused, and stuck. I don't know who to reach out to? I'm a member of gastric sleeve support groups on fb as well as ed support groups on fb. On one the gastric sleeve page I'm seeing pre and post op pictures of people who have lost a bunch of weight and I compare myself to them. And on the ed pages I'm seeing intuitive eating and HAES posts and how being thin won't make me any happier. I'm just confused and don't know what to do? 


Any support is greatly appriciated. Thx.

agse
agse
I'm so sorry that you are struggling so much right now. I know it can't be easy. I don't think you took the easy way out. I think you did what you thought was the best option for you. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks! Don't let their opinions dictate your life. I've had friends go through this surgery and it's not an easy out. There is a lot that is involved both physically and emotionally. I don't think many people would choose this procedure as the easy thing to do. Most likely, they don't understand. If it has helped your health, than it was worthwhile. People are always going to have an opinion about our choices, but that doesn't mean we have to listen!
I want you to know that you are more than what your body looks like or what your weight is. You are valuable just for who you are. Whether you lose weight or stay the same that does not change your value. Please know that. Losing weight may make you feel better about yourself, but it may not. Your identity, who you are is not tied up in your size. I think the most important thing is taking the necessary steps to lead a healthy lifestyle...eating healthy, exercising, mental and emotional health care. These are all more important than just "losing weight." Just be the best you that you can be! If your therapist is focused on your self worth being just in your weight, I may look for another therapist. Wishing you the best!