Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
I have not been on here in a long time and its very difficult for me to write about this. I thought for years I was over my eating issues. I keep thinking "im too old for this...."
Quick summary:
When I was 13 I began starving myself...was so thin people would comment. At 16 years old-had my first binge and purge episode....fell into a nasty spiral of bulimia for years. Was very severe. My bowels never worked right again
Fast forward to 24 years old---I step on the scale and im at my heaviest weight Now I compulsively over eat---try to starve myself again and binge, repeat. I purge occasionally but its mostly overeating now. Its like an addiction....i literally cant control myself around food and at the same time I hate myself and scream at myself to stop! I have a hard time even looking at my body which triggers even more binges.
I never had a healthy relationship with food. Im so lost. I dont even know what I need right now I just know I need to hear someone say "I understand" or something.. ugh...
Quick summary:
When I was 13 I began starving myself...was so thin people would comment. At 16 years old-had my first binge and purge episode....fell into a nasty spiral of bulimia for years. Was very severe. My bowels never worked right again
Fast forward to 24 years old---I step on the scale and im at my heaviest weight Now I compulsively over eat---try to starve myself again and binge, repeat. I purge occasionally but its mostly overeating now. Its like an addiction....i literally cant control myself around food and at the same time I hate myself and scream at myself to stop! I have a hard time even looking at my body which triggers even more binges.
I never had a healthy relationship with food. Im so lost. I dont even know what I need right now I just know I need to hear someone say "I understand" or something.. ugh...
These food/eating/body shape issues are long term and recovery at best is gradual and long term. Have you sought professional help? Therapy is no quick fix but it may help you figure out how to go about developing a healthier relationship with yourself, your body and eating.
I've found that ED/food thoughts/issues tend to never really go away BUT the good news is that they can be resolved bit by bit, and then we have the choice to choose NOT to engage in them but choose what is more healthy and sane.
My recovery has only been possible with professional help (counselling). For me, I found that I could not heal alone and I think this is because we are wounded inside mostly out of relationships in life (especially early ones - I grew up with abuse etc as a child). As such, I believe that it is also necessary for us to be in relationship with others (e.g. professional ED counsellors etc) in order to achieve the most from our recovery. Does this make sense?
I hope you get the support and help you need to heal. Take care x
And @Kpsurfersfan- I too was hurt with my early relationships in life. My eating problems I believe are somewhat related to this. Thank you for your support. I am glad I am not alone in this.