I am so sorry you are hurting. You aren't disgusting at all. You need to eat to live.

Sorry youre feeling the pain of hunger. I do know how you feel although I fortunately havent had to feel that way myself for many years.

Undereating makes you (or it made me) weak and unable to concentrate (always thinking about food) but it never changed my basic shape (pear shaped) however few calories I consumed. With internal changes and good nutrition is is possible to get into better shape both mentally and physically. Id like to urge you to eat better although I realise its not easy. Try to have several small meals (or eating times - dont have to be traditional meals if you cant cope with those) throughout the day that preferably concentrate on basic foodstuffs. ((Hugs))

Sorry that you're in pain...

May I ask if you have professional support from a counsellor or therapist who specialises in EDs. I have found I only could recover when I took this step. It is an expensive route (I had to pay all of my therapy costs privately as no ED treatment programmes available here downunder when I was at my lowest) but well worth it.

You say "I'm already so overweight it's disgusting...." - is this a medical diagnosis from a health professional, i.e. being overweight, OR is it your personal opinion of yourself. I hear alot of self-loathing, self-hatred and shame and disgust with yourself in that one line. We all know the pain of this place - it is a very familiar place to be with an ED. However, it is possible to come out of that place and move forward into wellness and sanity.

Please seek the help you need. Even if it just starts with your Doctor or a Nutritionist.

Take care.... you need to eat to live and have energy - otherwise you are going to feel stuck in the cycle of EDs over and over :)

Hey, no I haven't seen a counsellor who specializes in ED's just a doctor who said she would monitor me every few months.. I feel un heard by her.

I was never told that kpfan- by a doctors, it's my own opinion of myself.

I think you need to look for more support, as a follow-up from a doctor every few months wouldn't have worked for me when I was "deep into" the restricting and ED behaviours/thought patterns.

Are there any support groups available in your area for EDs?

Worth looking at maybe for some extra support.

Kim :)

I've been to a ed clinic int he past and it was basically a joke. they didn't really care at all and kept shipping me off to different counsellors/dietitians. I've not been back. As for my doc, she is now on medical leave ( family issues) so I don't have her either. Maybe its best i deal with this alone...

Sorry to hear youve had bad experiences with seeking help for your eating disorder. Its so frustrating to be bounced around various "helpers" if you cant form a bond of understanding and trust with them. Sometimes the feeling of abandonment by the system can get us motivated to help ourselves but sometimes it seems too hard to get started as "trying hard" isnt usually enough. I recall that some people have sometimes recommended various books that have been helpful. Im afraid I dont have the titles but it might be worth doing a library search (if you can avoid all the silly diet books - not always easy). Even though your doctor is unavailable right now I hope that you can find another doctor and/or some professional with whom things click.
P.S. I guess youre not overweight and I know youre not disgusting!