Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
4 me E.D. recovery is an emotional roller coaster. I feel like my emotions r all over the place. I'm happpy that I'm healthier, but at the same time I feel like a frickin' cow and I hate it. I'm still in way more pain than normal. I have severe R.A. and scolisis. According to research depending on how much one has damaged their bodies w/ their E.D., one can experience excruciating pain. So w/ the R.A. and scoliosis and the severe damage I've done to my body explains why I'm in sooooo very much pain. I am getting stronger but it is taking sooooo very long to make progress. I can walk up to 40 minutes w/o walker and then another 20 minutes with walker. But it's just not enuf exercise cuz I can't walk fast enuf. I'm not allowed to work out w/weights according to P.T. I do isometrics. But I have to be so very careful. It is very easy 4 me to over do it. I'm just like my Dad. We both tend to over do it. Then I'm in bed most of the day w/ legs raised. I do as much as I possibly can do around the house. But I'm still home bound except 4 dr. appointments and physical therapy. On monday I get to go shopping 4 clothing w/ only $5o or $6o at Walmart. I'm unsable to go to thrift stores cuz it is just too much 4 me physically. And I only get to shop 4 around 2 hours which should be easy enuf w/ so little $.
I feel I have hope that God can heal the damage I have done to my body. Sometimes I feel like my faith is increasing and then their r too many days I feel like I haven't grown much spiritually. Can anyone relate to anything I have written in this post?
Yesterday at Dr. appointment I had an episode of crying that was the longest ever. I was crying so hard I couldn't talk. It's 1 thing to cry in private, but I hate it when I cry in public. I don't want to appear like I'm trying to get attention. Can anyone relate?
My R.A. dr tried very hard to get me to a pain specialist, but they all refused to c me due to so many health conditions. They all felt there was nothing they could do 4 me.
I use to be a long distance runner, 40 to 80 miles per week and 21 miles every other Saturday. I was able to keep this up til I injured myself right b4 I was gonna run my 1st marathon. Then my long runs were reduced to 18 miles. Then I was attacked by rapist (who did not succeed) on September 1st 1995. The trauma triggered the onset of R.A.I was able to keep jogging til I was about 38. Then I walked and rode my bike just about everywhere. All of the work I did 4 over 30 years was very physically demanding which also helped me stay in shape. I became disabled by '03, but kept working til I could not work anymore. Had to file 4 disability Jan. 2006. Then my weight dropped dramatically w/o trying. But I liked how thin I was and the fact that the lightness of how much I weighed took a lot of pressure off of my joints. Then I became much more active again. I could go on and on. But I'll stop here. Thank u sooooo very much 4 your support. God bless u!!!!!!!
Thanks again and I will keep u posted. God bless u big time!!!
I'm not really sure how to request friends or if you are able to. I'm fairly new to this. Feel free to continue communicating with me via this conversation.
Anyway, I have gained even more weight. I'm 3 lbs over the maximum that I should weigh 4 my height and frame. I don't know how to make myself throw up. So I feel like reducing calories to no more than 500. But I know that will just slow down my metabolism. I'm just so frustrated that I can't get enuf exercise and I'm depressed. I've made positive changes to my diet and reduced how much I eat to stabilize my weight, but still gaining. this sucks big time. Every time I get a glance at my body in the mirror it makes me want to cry. I have no way to get my hands on any laxatives. That is what my problem was. Extreme laxative abuse. I get way more than enuf fiber in as many forms as possible, but still struggle w/chronic constipation. I've done more than enuf research on chronic constipation. I was suppose to be weaned off laxatives very slowly. My tummy dr even wrote a letter about this and no one at rehab paid attention to it and my caregiver refuses to give me any laxatives. My drs except 4 tummy dr won't even let me do it the natural way, which is taking a hi dose of magnesium and being weaned off very slowly. Hopefully when I c my tummy dr. he will up the dose. I c him on November 7th.