so my best friend just left. i have been REALLY struggling with my ED. tonight, i went shopping for clothes with my sister and realized i'm in a size TWENTY-TWO jeans! i felt so horrid. so self-concious! she met me at wal-mart, and followed my sister and me home. so i'm sitting here with her explaining how i've been feeling lately. (i haven't been bingeing, but i have been thinking about throwing up a lot-which scares me.) and she's trying to relate by telling me her struggles with OCD. but she kept saying "give it to god"...

i have prayed. i do believe. certain things have gotten easier. (for instance, i do the OA workbook more often.) but it's not as simple as saying a prayer and then poof i don't have BED anymore. i wish it was. but it is a DAILY battle. something that i have realized will not go away overnight. it's going to take some work.

i adore my friend. she is like a sister to me. we have known each other for years. i have no idea what i would do without her. i didn't want to hurt her feelings by telling her she wasn't helping. in all honesty, i don't think she knows how to help. trying to explain it all to her was frustrating. she told me that if i don't stop, ED will destroy me. and i know she's right. she kept urging me to go to therapy, or go to the doctor. but what do i say to the doctor? how do i go about it? "excuse me doc, god told me i have an ED." no, she'll think i'm insane. i'm so scared, but i know silence will keep me sick.

please help. how do you communicate to your friends the pain of ED? how did you breach the subject with your doctor/therapist? how do you maintain your faith, but still let people know it's as simple as praying to be healed? any advice or comments would be appreciated.