I want to get help but I have some fears associated with this. If anyone has sought professional help before, I’d appreciate your input. 

First of all, I’ve called national hotlines in the past and they always say that the only treatment is inpatient therapy. That is not something I’m willing to do now or ever.

I think I am willing to discuss this with a doctor and/or therapist, but can they in any way commit me or tell my family through either direct or indirect means? Can I decline their recommendations without fear of being forced into anything? 

I had a few good weeks in the fall, but then I went right back to B&P when I put on a few pounds. I can’t get over my body image issues. I thought I could get this under control on my own but I can’t. My will only lasts a few weeks at a time and then my relapse goes much longer before I can muster the strength to try again. I don’t know why I hate my body so much, but I don’t hate my life and I want to stop wasting it.