Eating Disorders Support Group
Eating disorders are marked by an obsessive need to control the intake and/or purging of food. This community is dedicated to those struggling on the road to recovery. Join to discuss your experience with others and find support. Get advice, ask questions, and meet others who are going through similar struggles.
ok now i know i make myself throw up andeverything but i do not know if iam in denial or just do not want it all to be true and when people do ask i givethem all different reasons and of course they sucker right into it but what is it is it me or the ED plaing tricks i mean there are some people who do know like my ma but ma even told ma consoler that i do not do it because she did not want me to get in trouble she said and because she wa in shock because she did it herself when shewas younger so she lied on me and told my consoler when i tried tellig her that i burge and iam just at a loss on what to do because i can not stop throwing up
I think you know that you have a serious problem. You know you are bulimic and that it will have severe consequences if left uncontrolled. I think you know that if your friends accept your excuses or if your mother lies for you, that all of them are contributing to the problem. I can see that you resent this because you call your friends suckers and make excuses for your mom. This may have had the effect of making you think that there is no help for you. You seem very frightened.
First of all, slow down. You have to focus. You can go back to the school counselor. Explain what happened with your mother. Tell the counselor that your mother was upset at the time, that you need help, and that you want it to remain confidential for now, if you think your mother would be upset that you went back. I am assuming that your mother has not gotten you into treatment yet, so you still need help and the counselor can hook you up with a doctor or treatment program.
Get the help, and in the meantime, do common sense things that help, like eating food that is easy or easier to keep down, eat small amounts, and don't lie down within several hours of eating. Don't be fooled that throwing up will make you lose weight, because it won't. Try Ensure and take liquid vitamins. Get your mom to help you get the food and vitamins you need. You can try baby food and baby vitamins. Some people without eating disorders use baby products when they are sick or because they like them better. Remind yourself that you need good fuel to be beautiful and healthy. Stop saying that you can't stop. Acknowledge that you are doing many right things to get better, starting with this post and trying to get help from friends, mom, and counselor. You have begun the fight and are already turning the tide. Focus on the positive things that you have started, and follow through with a program. This is not primarily a physical problem, so you need the professionals. This is what they are trained to do, so let them do it. You are the expert on how you feel, what you want, and what you are good at. But you are not the expert at eating disorders, and, sad to say, neither is your mom, even if she had it too. Keep telling yourself that you can and will succeed.
Now, one more thing. I hope that your manic state, if that's what it is, is not another problem. But, seriously, if you can not slow down your thoughts to make them more comprehensible to the people you are trying to talk to, then this is another issue for the counselor. If this is just your personal style, then know that it is very difficult to follow, and you may well be misunderstood.
I just got the message that you replied. How are you doing today?